Earthquake 2008: Day Four

Forty minutes past midnight I felt yet another aftershock. Each passing tremor is more intense that the one before it and I fear that there is little time before the whole of the Midwest is sucked under the Earth's crust in a violent showing of nature's wrath.

Okay that may not actually happen. The aftershock last night was just a shade above the level our apartment vibrates when a large dump truck passes by. So fear not fellow earthquake '08 survivors, we shall get through this together or separately depending on your level of cooperation in these harsh times.

Earthquake '08: Day One

At 4:37 this morning the entire St. Louis area was engulfed in shaking. It was as if the metropolitan area went to the Broookstone store at the mall, sat in the demo massaging chair, and hit the "medium" button. This pre-dawn tremor was centered in Southeast Illinois measured 5.2 on the "shakability ranking" and could be felt as far away as Michigan and Florida. The last time a quake this strong hit the Midwest was in 1968. Incidentally that was the same year the Cardinals were jobbed out of a World Series title. I was, of course, sleeping when the quake hit and continued to sleep until the asshole alarm clock woke me up. The terror I felt once I learned about the quake when I turned on the car radio was non-existent although I was hoping FEMA would swoop in and give me $2,000 and a trailer. As this story develops (which it won't) I will keep you informed because I promise to have the best Earthquake '08 coverage on the internet.

UPDATE: I am still in class.

UPDATE 2: This undate's title was not in bold because I didn't feel like it. As one really on the ball poster has already mentioned, there was an aftershock to this morning's earthquake. I was sitting at home and actually felt it. I guess it could have been the can of beans I had just eaten though.

Spring is Here; Time to Dress Like Idiots

The weather over the last couple of days has been absolutely perfect. The sky has been a bright, crisp blue. The wind has been blowing gently bring with it the sweet smell of the nectar from the blossoming and colorful flowers, plants, and trees. The sun shines and the Earth which has been so cold and hard for months has started to warm and soften under heat of the sun. Also jackoffs around the St. Louis area have started wearing flip flops with blue jeans.

If there is one thing I cannot stand it is jackoffs wearing long pants and flip flops. WTF! I know you are asking yourself, "But Mike, what about people that aren't jackoffs that wear flip flops with long pants?" The problem with that question is that people that wear flip flops and long pants automatically become jackoffs by deciding to wear flip flops with long pants. Flip flops, if they need to be worn at all (and I don't think they ever need to be worn), should only be worn with the following articles of clothing:

1. Hawaiian Shirt
2. Swimming Suit
3. There is no number 3.

That being said even should you wear an outfit that properly occasions the wearing of flip flops, you may only wear the flip flops in the following situations:

1. At the pool.
2. At the beach.
3. On a chartered deep sea fishing boat.

I remind you that flip flops are not at all necessary in any of these situations so if you don choose to wearing them even in these slightly less jackoffy situations you will still give off very strong jackoff vibes to everyone around you.

In deed I do believe the only perfectly acceptable situation for wearing flip flops, and actually a situation in which I actually strongly recommend the use of flip flops, is when taking a shower in a college dorm or gym locker room. That is the sole (pun sort of intended) purpose of flip flops: to keep your feet from becoming infected with some type of M.R.S.E. that the frat guy living next door picked up at his last hazing when he had to steal bio-waste from the hospital and drink it.

I probably would not get so upset if I just saw people wearing flip flops while wearing shorts. I could understand that. It's hot, I want my legs and feet to stay cool so I will let them breathe. I personally don't do it but I get it. I do not get why these jackoffs decide that the weather and temperature is just so that I want to keep my legs covered up but let my fungal covered feet out in public for all to see just how nasty and hairy they actually are. Why don't you just by a pair of electric blue Crocs, rent a tuxedo, and really hit up the town in style? You would look just as good as with your flip flops and blue jeans but at least people will just assume that you are "special" and not a jackoff, which of course, you are. End of rant.

By the way, happy belated birthday to Nolan, Burke, and the Pope.

Woods Surgery Cover for DDC Work?

(From TMZ.com--and Jim Stachowiak)

Yesterday, on his website Tiger Woods announced that he will be having surgery on his right knee and thus will not be participating in any tour events for the next 4-6 weeks while rehabbing his surgically repaired knee. While this is from his official website, TMZ.com has sources who say the striped one may not be being totally honest with his fans. Tiger Woods is a known supporter of Jim Stachowiak and Mike Roush when it comes to the only major that he cannot officially participate in, the NFL DDC. After two crushing defeats to Nolan and Ostrander the last couple of years, Tiger feels that he may has some inside knowledge on this year’s course, Cog Hill, that will help Roush and Stachowiak reclaim “the birdie” says an unidentified tour member. “He wants to help, but he wants to fly under the radar to catch Nolan and Ostrander off guard, that is why he concocted this injury story.” Looking at Woods’ timetable for return, five weeks from the surgery date would be May 20th, the week after the DDC, giving him enough time away from the tour and the media to work with Roush and Stachowiak on their strategy. Also, TMZ.com has learned that Woods will be ‘rehabbing” at a facility in Hannibal, Missouri. What is the significance of that? Well, Hannibal is roughly half way between St. Louis and Iowa City, or the respective homes of Roush and Stachowiak. These “coincidences” lead many on tour to believe that Woods isn’t actually having surgery at all, I guess we’ll find out come DDC weekend.

Other DDC News:

Following this weekend’s incident with a Red Sox fan burying a Red Sox jersey under the new Yankee Stadium as a curse on the Yankees, rumors have begun spreading that Roush and Stachowiak may have attempted to put a similar curse on Nolan and Ostrander. Reached at work Stachowiak stated that Michael and Shannon Ostrander may be surprised at what they’d find if they took a jackhammer to the foundation of their recently completed home in Belding. He would not specify, but said that some Roush-Stachowiak memorabilia was let onsite during a covert summer 2007 trip to Belding as a curse on Nolan and Ostrander. Mike Roush would not comment on the situation when approached this week and Nolan and Ostrander were unavailable for comments. With the golf world focused on the DDC, sparks seem to be beginning to fly. Stay tuned for more on this story.

Tiger Where art Thou?

Tiger, my man, where were you on Sunday? All you had to do was make up 6 shots and you would be Master's champion yet again. The media cannot believe you didn't win just by showing up. They cannot believe that Hooty Johnson didn't just hand you the green jacket because your name was in the headlines more than anyone else in the field. I guess winning the Masters actually takes some work. (Not as much work as it takes to win the DDC, but a lot of work nonetheless.) Tiger Woods has never come from behind on Sunday to win a major (he has never lost the lead going into the final round either) so why is everyone screaming and yelling at Tiger now? Do you think it may be because they had hyped this as Tiger's year to win the Grand Slam and now their storyline is gone? Ah crap, I have to start paying attention in class again. Until I return entertain your self here.

The Anger Sharks are Circling in my Head

I hate Notre Dame. I hate them so much. I am using the word hate here. They shouldn't have even been in this tournament. Damn it all to hell. Okay I am done venting...okay one more thing...AAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

There, now I feel better...AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!

I would just love it if Michigan actually came through in a big game just once.


Update: The anger sharks are still there but I have found an outlet.

NFL DDC Anticipation Grows

Today marks the opening round of the 2008 Masters in Augusta, Georgia but golf fans everywhere have been unable pry their attention away from Chicago where final preparations are being made at Cog Hill where the 2008 NFL DDC will be held in May.

“Tiger Woods has been picked to win the green jacket again so all I care about is how the rough is growing at Cog Hill,” said George Miller of Monterey, California. “Its thickness will the key factor in determining the outcome of the DDC.”

Course conditions have been the focus of many fans’ attention but NFL DDC members have noticed an increase in paparazzo and hangers-on in recent weeks.

“It used to be I could go to the grocery store without much of a following but now every time I have to pick up a gallon of milk I have hundreds of people clamoring for autographs and dozens of flash bulbs popping in my face,” said Mike Roush. “All I want is to pick up my dry cleaning without having to sign a baby’s forehead.”

The increased attention that surrounds the NFL DDC players leading up to the event is not new and some players have made plans in preparation of this phenomenon. Michael Ostrander has been in seclusion at an undisclosed location in Florida to escape the crowds.

“I had tried to lay low in Greektown this past weekend but I was not safe even there. After trying to relax at the Greektown Casino, I had to leave in a hurry under the protection of four or five security guards for my own safety.” Ostrander said.

Las Vegas Experiencing DDC Effect

Chicago (AP):

A mere five weeks away, the 2008 Chicago NFL-DDC at Cog Hill is beginning to not only affect the city of Chicago, but is also spreading its economic benefits south and west. In an official notice and/or promotional email offer received earlier today by NFL-DDC Chicago Host Committee chair Matt Nolan, it became known that the cost of being near "the other action" in Las Vegas over this year's NFL-DDC weekend is rapidly skyrocketing. "Rooms at the Luxor cost $339 and $359 over NFL-DDC weekend, while not cracking $300 any other night during the months of April, May or June," said Nolan. "Clearly, those not able to find lodgings near Chicago are sprinting toward the next best place to "participate" in the game.

While the official NFL-DDC fan poll being conducted at www.bubbatunes.blogspot.com has Stachowiak/Roush ahead 60%-40%, the early lines in Vegas favor Nolan and Ostrander on the 16th hole. "The oddsmakers clearly were not staying at the Milner Hotel in Detroit on Saturday night," said Nolan. "Thank God Mike [Ostrander] has a month to recover from that. Apple Bottom Jeans and please let God keep my partner's liver going through May."

Apple Bottom Jeans and Mike Has a Blog

Here are the things I learned this weekend:

1. When brewing your own beer be sure to stop at Wendy's first.
2. When staying at the Milner Hotel in Detroit be sure not to drive a car or if you do make sure you say you are going to the opera.
3. Pitching a no-hitter into the sixth inning is not always impressive.
4. High schoolers are much better at Guitar Hero than anyone born before 1989 will ever be.
5. LaBatt Blue is the official beer of Paul and Sue.
6. Jilly and the Putz is a catchy song.
7. Bums use taco shells for wallets but cannot use shrimp as bluetooth headsets because they are too hungry.
8. Craps is a very complicated way to lose money.
9. The first two lines of Flo-Rida's "Low."
10. Apparently Greek cafes in Greek Town do not always think timing is important when serving food.
11. It is very easy to create your own lyrics to "Low."
12. Suit coats are not necessary at Detroit casinos.
13. Having teeth is not necessary at Detroit casinos.
14. Having bathed in the last month is not necessary to get into Detroit casinos.
15. Nolan looks exactly like Jack Black to legally blind Michiganders.
16. Australian GPS ladies do not say "mate" after giving you directions. (Also they do not say "crikey," "bloomin'," or "g'day.")
17. Casino security guards are very large serious men that do not like Butts (and for good reason.)
18. Apparently Shawnty wears Apple Bottom Jeans, Nolan wears a sport coat, and I am an asshole.
19. Cougars are real and they are scary.
20. Cougars' moms are just as real and even scarier.
21. The pictures in hotel rooms are not bolted to the wall.
22. Croatian men need to lock the dead bolt to surf the web.
23. Croation men need to surf the web in your hotel room.
24. This city was not only built on rock and roll but also Jesus.
25. Seven mile pedophiles go to Tigers games.
26. Trash cans are only good at containing vomit so long as they are not tipped over.
27. You can fold a twenty dollar bill and make it say "Tits of America, Glenn Beck is an asshole."

Boo Rain.

Soggy but Sluggy Day: The Cards game has been postponed because of the rain. The good news is that after three innings the Cardinals line up looked pretty darn good and Wainwright, after a some what shakey first inning, looked good too.

Royal pain in the ass: The Royals beat the Tigers in extra innings. I sure hope the Detroit bullpen is not going to screw the Tigers.

HAPPY OPENING DAY!!

I look around the law school and see half the students are wearing red so it must be opening day. Is there a greater day in the year? No.

This year, the two teams I pull for, the Cardinals and the Tigers, have opening day outlooks that are complete opposites of each other. Many of the the so-called experts have the Tigers in the World Series and the Cards in the cellar. I agree with the predictions when it comes to the Tigers but not with the Cardinals.

The Cardinals will take the field today understanding their underdog status and will play the season with a chip on their shoulder. Last year they had just won the World Series and were blindsided by health issues and the unfortunate death of Josh Hancock. The spent the whole year trying to stay afloat while they waited for their staff to get healthy, which never happened.

This year the Cardinals are coming off a losing season for the first time this century. The expectations seem to be low but the team is going to aim high. They have some fresh faces that will fight to stay in the bigs and some pop in the bat with Pujols, Glaus, Ankiel, and great arms in Wainwright, Lohse, Isringhausen, and soon Clement, Mulder, and Carpenter.

I know I may be dreaming but it is opening day at that is what it is all about today.

Gates open at 1:15 P.M.; Clydesdales at 2:30 P.M.; First Pitch at 3:15 P.M.

Erin Go Surfin'

$10 says it started off as a bet. I don't know much about surfing. I only know Laird Hamilton from American Express ads, have not seen Endless Summer, the only wet suit I have worn had a tie and a broken umbrella was involved, and I thought the only boarding taking place on the Emerald Isle involved nuns at a Catholic grade school. I guess I was wrong.

When the going gets tough, the tough get....

And now time for some propaganda: If you are a Michigan fan that has been living under a rock you may have missed this. For those Maize and Blue faithful that don't live under rocks, the news of Justin Boren leaving Michigan has already come across you desks. I, being the insider that brings all you readers to this blog everyday, have no information except for what has been report but here is what I think about it: Big F'ing Deal. If you don't want to play for Michigan you should not play for Michigan. Boren being gone is not going to cost us one game but him being there and thinking he should be somewhere else might.

Boren said that part of the reason why he is leaving is that he was not getting the support he needed from the new coaching staff. The coaches are not there to support you. They are there to tell you how much you suck and to give you pointers on how to suck less. Coaches are only allowed to tell you that you may not have actually sucked as much as they said you did after you have graduated. He also implied the mutual respect and family atmosphere that existed under Coach Carr is gone. How can someone earn respect when they quit after a couple of months of practice? Boren, Mitchell, Ciulla, Mallet, and any other player that decides to quit can go ahead and pack their bags without any sympathy from me.

Many of you out there are probably thinking I am a moron. Boren was the best offensive lineman we had and was the one with the most experience of course Michigan would be better off with him. If you think that then eat me because I don't care. I would reather have a full line that is all on the same page than having a line that is fractured because some of them would rather be somewhere else. Bo had a sign made when he came to Michigan in 1969 that said that "Those who stay will be Champions." Nobody expected that Michigan team to do anything that year especially with perhaps the most talented Ohio State team ever assembled waiting for them but in the end it the players that did stay were champions. The defied the odds, beat the Buckeyes and won the Big Ten.

This year people are saying that Michigan will be lucky to win 8 games and are not even ranked in many pre-season polls. To be sure this year's schedule is tough with games at Notre Dame, at Penn State, at Ohio State and back to back games against tough Wisconsin and Illinois teams early in the season but here is what I know, Michigan is going to be ready. If players think practice is tough now, just want until the two a days in the middle of the summer. Just wait until they actually have a decent understanding of the new system and are forced to push their physical and mental limits beyond what they thought possible. Losing to Appalacian State, Oregon, Wisconsin, and Ohio State (all but Wisconsin at home) should be motivation enough but with the new coaching staff everyone is also fighting for a job, fighting for a scholarship, and fighting to prove that they have what it takes to be the best. If someone is not willing to do what it takes, then I say the bus schedule is posted in the Union, goodbye. But that is just me and I am trying to avoid doing homework right now so what do I know?

Kwame in trouble.

http://www.freep.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080324/NEWS01/80324022

Spring Break is Over

Since I am back in my normal routine I will start posting again this week. I am sorry I never posted last week. I had brillant ideas but had no time or motivation to actually post. Also I doubt the movie thing will ever really happen but we'll just have to wait to see.

Movie Mania

Bubba Tunes will be hosting its first annual Movie Mania Tournament sometime this year. This competition will pit movies against each other until a champion is crowned Best Movie Ever. The movies will come from you the viewing public. Based on your suggestions (and my own) I will create a bracket for you the viewer to vote upon. The movie with the most votes will move forward while the losers will be honored just for being nominated. The opening round will be broken down into genres but once a champion of that genre is declared it will go head to head with other genre champions. Here are the categories:

Best Sports Movies
Best Futuristic/Outer Space Movies
Best Guy-Friendly Romance Movies
Best War Movies
Best Movies About Events That Took Place Before Wide-Spread Use of Electricity
Best Cop Movies
Best Cartoon/Computer Animated Movies
Best Biopic Movies
Best Comedy
Best Movies That Don't Fit Into Any Of These Genres

Let the submission process begin.

Kwame is Still King

For background of this post please see this. (I am well aware Wikipedia is probably the least reliable source for anything but deal with it. If you want something better try the website of the Detroit New or Free Press--although rocks of journalistic integrity, they are not.)

Are you up-to-date? Okay Good.

Last night in the annual State of the City Address, Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick concluded his speech with this: [Link to story and video.]

The challenge for all of us in public office is to rise above our differences -- to rise above our human frailties – and maintain our focus on working together to move this city forward. Ralph Waldo Emerson said big jobs usually go to the people who prove their ability to outgrow small ones.

President Cockrel, we have much more serious issues affecting the future of this city than whether we’re going to attend a speech. I love you [Cockrel] and I love what you've done for our city. At this moment in our history, we must turn to each other, and not on each other.

And finally tonight, and this may be the most talked about part of the speech after laying out all of that. But I feel that I cannot leave this auditorium with my wife and my sons sitting there without addressing this issue.In the past 30 days, I've been called a n----- more than any time in my entire life. In the past three days I have received more death threats than I have in my entire administration. I've heard these words before, but I've never heard people say them about my wife and children. I don't believe that a Nielsen rating is worth the life of my children or your children.This unethical, illegal lynch-mob mentality has to stop. And it's seriously time.

We've never been here before. And I don't care if they cut the TV off. We've never been in a situation like this before where you can say anything, do anything, have no facts, no research, no nothin and you can launch a hate-driven, bigoted assault on a family.

I humbly ask members of council. I humbly ask the business community. I humbly ask the religious community. I humbly ask the brothers and sisters of the city of Detroit. I humbly ask that we say no more together. I humbly ask that we say no more together.

I love this city with every part of my being and I will continue to stay focused on building the next Detroit. God bless you. Detroit, I love you.

Excuse me while I pick my jaw off the ground. I'm sorry but I don't think I have ever seen such a display of unfettered incongruousness in my entire life.

Let me start by saying that is is absolutely intolerable to send anyone death threats or racial slurs and that anyone that did so is not justified in any way. The people that are sending those e-mails should be tracked down and dealth with accordingly.

That being said COME ON KWAME! You are not the victim in this situation and there is absolutely no way to frame it where a reasonable person would characterize you as such.

Kilpatrick first speaks on the need to come together and stop fighting when he is the one that started the entire mess by having the stripper party at Manoonigan Mansion and then firing everyone that knew about it and would talk. I guess coming together also does not mean dodging city council review when it is time for your wife to get a new car or when you need to retain lawyers and decide to use public funds to pay for it.

Kwame spoke of needing to raise of above human frailities. I guess this doesn't include assaulting members of the press, stealing public funds, or sleeping around on your wife and family. No Kwame you are right, it is our fault to think you should be held to some kind of standard; what were we thinking.

And then the mayor had the audacity to say this: "We've never been in a situation like this before. Where you can say anything, do anything, have no facts, no research, no nothing and you can launch a hate-driven bigoted assault on a family."

You are right Mr. Mayor you are the first person that has ever had to deal with lies that someone completely made up and used to persecute someone. I guess the Salem witch trials, baseless accusations of African-Americans raping Southern women, Native American lead massacres, the McCarthy lead Red-Scare, and the like completely grounded in facts and were totally justified. (If you can't tell I am being sarcastic you should because I am laying it on pretty thick.) I love this country and am extremely proud of all the good that America has done, but you cannot possibly think that you are the first victim of hate or that this is unique to your situation.

Here's the rub though, Mr. Mayor: The people against you are not driven by hate and are not lying. According to at least two trial courts and at least two courts of appeals, the people that had "no facts," did "no research," and "no nothing[?]" were telling the truth, had done research, had gathered the facts, and did not have "nothing." These people were substantially rewarded to the tune of over $8 million. But what do the courts know? The city of Detroit is on the hook for this settlment even though it is completely your responsibility. I am shocked that you are still allowed in public buildings let alone allowed to literally run the city in its most powerful office.

You were right in your speech. The city does have more important things to do than deal with your shenanigans but they aren't doing that, are they. Instead they are being forced to handle the situation you have created and in the meantime the city continues to tread in increasingly choppy waters.

Okay I am almost done venting but before I leave let me say this: The media is not your enemy, you are. The sooner you realize that the better you will be. For some mystery you are an extremely popular mayor in the eyes of the average Detroit citizen. Instead of using this popularity to get important tasks accomplished (i.e. improving infrastructure, stomping out crime, improving city schools, etc.) you thought your popularity sheilded you from accountability. You thought, "everyone loves me so I can do whatever the hell I want." This mentality lead you to think having strippers in the mayor's mansion was okay, that it was okay if you used the city's money to pay for your wife's car, and that it was okay to cheat on your wife with your chief of staff. I mean what could possibly happen? You are loved by the city.

If you had just admitted to the party it would have gone away faster than you can say "Hugh Grant." The public is amazingly forgiving to people that admit to wrong doing. Just look at how differently Mark McGwire, Roger Clemens, and Barry Bonds are being treated when compared to Andy Pettitte and Jose Conseco. It is not the initial wrong doing that pisses people off, it is the cover up. People understand single bad acts because most people have been in similar situations and can relate but they absolutely cannot stand being lied to. If you are honest with the people, most will accept it and move on.

This applies to the media as well. If Bill Clinton had just come out right away and admitted to the Lewinsky thing the media would have covered it for a little bit and then moved on to other news. If Nixon hadn't tried to cover up the Watergate break in, he probably still would have won the election in 1972 but would not have needed to resign in disgrace. Woodward, Bernstein, and Deep Throat became household names because of the cover up, not the break in. The break in would have been a story for a week or month tops and then the newspapers would have moved on to other things. The media loves to dig around and find dirt. If your dirt is already out for everyone to see they have nothing to report. Notice how quickly the Lewinsky thing was out of the news once Clinton admitted to everything.

Okay I am done but I want to know what you, the internet viewers, think. Post a comment and if I like you could win a prize.*

P.S. Michigan starts the Big Ten Tournament tomorrow. Automatic Bid or Bust!!

*Prize will not include anything that is tangible, valuable, real, or anything else.

Snip, Snip = March Madness

Umm...I really want to watch all the games and get free pizza but I don't think this is the way to go about it...unless Michigan was somehow selected.

Wolverines Wow World

This should not be a shock. With over 420,000 living alumni worldwide, Wolverines can be found in any region and all climates around the globe. Here is another story about a popular Wolverine in the news. Here is yet another popular Wolverine that can help you. I would go on but I should get back to reading Trust and Estates. Hooray law school!

PS. I beat the hell out of everyone bowling this weekend. This includes my better half who I had never beaten before but will now never lose to because I am in her head. VICTORY!

Dems Delegates Damned

Even if you have been living under a rock you are aware that 2008 is an election year and unless the rock you have been living under was also living under another larger rock you also realize that while the Republican ticket has been decided the Democratic Party just can’t make up their mind between Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton. This week Clinton stopped Obama’s win streak by winning 3 out of 4 contests including the very important Texas and Ohio. Today the AP has a report out that neither Clinton nor Obama can mathematically win the nomination without the help of the so-called “super-delegates.” This means that Obama could win every remaining primary and still lose to Clinton if the super-delegates go her way. I am not a political scientist but this seems a little bit hinky to me. I also find it funny that the Democrats decided to punish Michigan and Florida but now that they matter Clinton is attempting to re-enfranchise the dis-enfranchised which, of course, will lead to counterclaims of re-disenfranchisement to those Floridians and Michiganders who didn’t vote in their primary because they knew their votes wouldn’t count. (Makes sense, huh.) The Republican Party, and John McCain in particular, on the other hand, is sitting back enjoying the show. While the Democrats will continue in-fighting all of the way to the DNC in Denver, McCain won the nomination in large part because of the many winner-take-all primaries employed by the Republicans and gets to raise money non-stop and start mounting a strategy against the eventual Democratic nominee. At the start of the year it was pretty much a given that the next president would be a Democrat but thanks to the Democrats themselves and their chosen primary system, this outcome is starting to get a little bit murky.

Look at that, I wrote about a political topic and you have no idea if I am a Republican or a Democrat.

New Blog Feature

Yesterday marked the first ever "Bubba Tunes' Song of the Day." I thought that since this blog is named after a colloquialism for music there should be something somewhat music related in the blog. As many of you may or may not know, I am not exactly hip to the scene anymore—law school, married life, and Miley Cyrus have all made caring about popular music very difficult—so I am not really a source for cutting edge music news and opinion. Instead, I plan on telling you what song comes up first on my iPod that day. Yesterday I hit shuffle and “Love is Strong” by the Stones came up, today it was “Strapped for Cash” by Fountains of Wayne. While I cannot promise the most up-to-date selections, I can guarantee that all songs that make the list will come with the Bubba Tunes Stamp of Approval so you should feel comfortable purchasing the songs for your own listening pleasure. (I would have embedded links so you could actually listen to the songs on your computer but I am lame and don’t know how to do that.)

Giving “I got a birdie” a whole new meaning in golf: Apparently Florida frowns on golfers from shooting birdies on the golf course. I guess this was actually pretty bad since he actively and repeatedly went after the bird with his shots. Back in the day I once hit a goose in the head with an approach shot but I wasn’t aiming for the damn thing. This is almost as bad as trying to hit a squirrel with a football. If you ever did that you would be a real major league a-hole.

My wife will soon be on Westlaw

Okay so I like to pretend I am a writer of sorts. I have this kick-ass blog and have written well over dozens of first chapters to great American novels but my wife has beat me to publication. She wrote a note for her law school's journal and it was selected for publication. I always thought that it would be me that would be published first but apparently to be published you must actually be a good writer. I will have to work on that. Seriously though congrats to my better half. When she gets her first book deal I plan to play a lot of golf.

And for all you Slapshot fans. Thanks to Eric Nystrom for the visuals (he actually did a very good reproduction of the original) and Brian from MGoBlog for the link.

Happy Trails, Brett!

Adios to Brett Favre, who has announced his retirement from the NFL today. Favre packs it up after throwing 5,377 carrer completions in 8,758 attempts for 61,655 yards, 442 touchdowns and 288 interceptions. He also has a Super Bowl ring and a life time membership in the Green Bay Men's Auxillary Club. He is a shoe-in for the Hall of Fame but his legacy will be tarnished because he never beat me, my brother, and Kurt Warner in backyard football.

Has it been 19 years already?

In case you have missed it, I give you Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. After this and Rambo all we need is a new Jaws movie and a Genesis reunion and it will be like the 1980s never left.

Shomer F'ing Shabbos!

These kids need Walter Sobchak on the case. He'll show those f*cks at the CHSAA league office what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps. Hopefully they will be able to reschdule so that they can have a date Wednesday Baby!

I call BS.

This is lame. I will forever boycott any and all Philadelphia MLS team events.

Nice try Jeff Cooper and SLSU. Hopefully the MLS will see the error of their ways and give the Lou a try in 2010...

P.S. Joel, it is not actually your fault. It's those f*cks in the league office.

SLU Slugs Slowly, Silently

St. Louis destroys St. Louis: Okay so apparently SLU was did not bring their A-game today. But hey, if you take away the fourth inning the Bills only lost by three. Oh well I guess they can't all be epics like yesterday's Michigan/Mets nail bitter. There was some good to come from this game. Each player wore special Kirkwood baseball caps and autographed them. They have been put up for auction on the Cardinals website to raise money for Backstoppers and the families of the victims of the February 7th shooting in Kirkwood, Missouri. If you are looking to donate to a worthy cause I urge you to make a bid.

Say it ain't so Scott. Say it ain't so: In other Cardinals news, Scott Speizo, the troubled St. Louis outfielder is facing more trouble. Last year Speizo had to take a break during the season to enter rehab for substance abuse. Once he came out he said he had turned a corner but I guess he didn't turn far enough. He is facing six very serious charges in California after he allegedly crashed his car just after midnight on December 30th and then proceeded to physically attack his neighbor.

Wrigley Field by any other name would Suck as sweet: I propose we call it "Old Style Park." Don't get me wrong, I am a die hard Cardinals fan and there is not other team in the baseball world worse than the Cubs but come on. It's Wrigley F'ing Field. If the new owners actually have the stones to change the name of Wrigley I can all but guarantee the streets of the North Side will erupt in a drunken frenzy of violence and rioting...okay so I guess nothing would change.

The Mighty Metropolitans are no match for Big Blue

It was an epic battle. The University of Michigan Wolverines were pitted against their arch rivals, the New York Mets in a baseball contest that will forever be rememberd as "The Tie Game." The New York Mets are the favorite to win the National League this year especially after their acquisition of Johann Santana (no relation to Carlos Santana) while the storied University of Michigan Wolverines are always regarded as the best team in whatever sport is being played. On this day the Pond Scum from Shea and the Shining Baseball Team on the Hill from the Fish met in Grapefruit play and what was supposed to be an exhibition turned into a two hour and forty-four minute war. Fifteen pitchers and thirty position players were used in this battle royale and each one is counting their blessings they were able to leave the game alive...

Okay it probably wasn't that great of a game but Michigan tying an MLB team, spring training or no, is worth blogging about.

Stay tuned because tomorrow SLU takes on the glorious and heroic St. Louis Cardinals...

A lot of people take seven years to agree to build a bridge...yeah they're called doctors.

Okay that quote doesn't really fit but this is cool.

The Better Halves Weign In (part 2)

BREAKING NEWS
Matt Nolan would like to remind the participants of the NFL DDC 2008 in Chicago that the event is being held in a "f***ing neighborhood, not a college town" and that only whispers will be tolerated while in the city.

In related news, Nina Tito will have a taste of her first NFL DDC experience. An exception was made to the previous wives only rule considering Shannon Wade was involved before being engaged, and though not a wife or fiance, Nina was granted special clearance privileges as a girlfriend of current co-champion Matt Nolan. Speaking of champions,when asked about their chances to repeat defending champion Michael Ostrander said he is worried about his tolerance during the weekend since he's dieting. "I get drunk faster and easier, but maybe weighing a few pounds less will allow me to out drive Jim by 30 more yards" says Ostrander.

Meanwhile, the women involved are wondering how an entire website has been devoted to the event. Shannon Wade reflects, "I remember when Michael said he got together and golfed with his friends once a year on the day of the NFL draft and I thought it was nice thing to do. Two years later he was making me ship out golf balls he had engraved especially for each team in the event and I realized there was a lot more too it." The girls are no longer taking a backseat to a weekend of ridiculous golf tales, myths, and trophies that were created by the recipients and affectionately named "Birdie". Pictures of the women having fun will be what gets displayed on our mantels now!

Warning: Bring your own Diet Coke.

The Better Halves Weigh In

Ladies of the DDC Join In

Chicago (AP)--As plans for the 2008 NFL DDC are finalized, the wives of the players in this esteemed tournament are joining in the fun. All will be making the trip to Chicago in May to participate in the festivities, but they claim they will also be having some fun of their own.

Colleen Stachowiak said, "I've got my coasters and Windex packed and I'm ready to have some fun in Chicago! It's time the ladies planned some activities of their own". This will be Shannon Wade's first trip to the NFL DDC, though she has supported her fiance, Butts Ostrander, since they began dating. Elizabeth Roush is also looking forward to the DDC; this will be her second time making the trip to support her husband. She is rooting for the trophy, affectionately named "The Birdie", to make the trip back to St. Louis.


The ladies have released a tentative schedule for Saturday afternoon while the boys are playing. Among the list of possibilities are shopping in downtown Chicago and drinking at the bars near Wrigley.

Several celebrities have weighed in on the recent developments. The ladies at The View are thrilled that the DDC wives are taking control and planning their own activities. Elisabeth Hasselbeck says, "You go, girls!", while Barbara Walters said, " ...". Well, we're not sure what she said, but we think it had something to do with watching her Oscars special on ABC tonight. Finally, Hillary Rodham Clinton also made a comment during her speech this afternoon that she is "Glad to have inspired the ladies to stand up and lead."

Further reports of the ladies activities will follow as soon as they develop.

NFL DDC IN DISCUSSIONS WITH CALLOWAY REGARDING PARTNERSHIP

BELDING, MI (AP) - The NFL DDC and Calloway Golf are currently engagedin discussions regarding the possibility of Calloway becoming theofficial golf ball sponsor of the NFL DDC. While Nike has traditionallysupplied golf balls for the event, Calloway has submitted a proposalthat has tempted the members of the NFL DDC Committee to reconsiderthier alliance. The NFL DDC has decided to give Nike an opportunity topresent a counter proposal, with a March 1 deadline looming.

2008 CHICAGO NFL-DDC AT COG HILL TO MAKE APPEARANCE AT WRIGLEY FIELD

After much rumor and speculation, 2008 Chicago NFL-DDC at Cog Hill Host Committee chairman Matt Nolan has confirmed the NFL-DDC's first ever Sunday event. Amid a chorus of cheers, Nolan announced on early Friday afternoon, "we're going to Wrigley Field!" The chorus at that point surged to a deafening roar, but the AP was able to obtain the details from Nolan after security whisked him away. "The NFL-DDC weekend has grown each year, and Chicago is stopping at nothing to impress the International Olympic Committee in its consideration of Chicago for the 2016 Summer Olympics," said Nolan. "On Sunday afternoon, NFL-DDC participants and their significant others have confirmed seats in the bleachers at Wrigley Field for a game between the Chicago Cubs and the Pittsburgh Pirates. Negotiations for the 2008 NFL-DDC Champions to throw out the first pitch and sing 'Take Me Out to the Ballgame' are still underway, but regardless, the Wrigley Bleachers will be rocking with the presence of Stachowiak, Roush, Ostrander, Nolan & Co." The Bleachers at Wrigley Field is one of the most historic locations to watch a sporting event in all the world. ESPN's Page 2 rated it the "Best Ballpark in Baseball," and ESPN's Jim Caple rated a Cubs game in the bleachers at Wrigley Field the #22 "thing all sports fans must experience before they die." In doing so, Caple said, "If a foreign tourist flew into the U.S. and asked for the quintessential American experience, the first choice would be Disneyland. The next would be a day game in the Wrigley bleachers with the sun shining, a breeze blowing out, the ivy crawling up the outfield wall, a cold beer in one hand and a hot dog in the other." Things that have taken place at Wrigley Field include Babe Ruth's "called shot" in the 1932 World Series and Pete Rose's 4,191st hit to tie Ty Cobb's record in 1985. As the home of the Chicago Bears through the early 1970s, Wrigley Field has still played host to more NFL games than any other professional sports stadium in history.
Nolan waited to release the Sunday event details until tickets could be purchased and attendance confirmed, but issued a release immediately thereafter. "This campaign, er, uh, event is not keeping any information from the American Public that it can with a clear conscience release," said Nolan. "The Committee would also like to specifically thank Ms. Nina Tito for helping to bring the NFL-DDC to Cog Hill." With this addition, the 2008 Chicago NFL-DDC at Cog Hill Schedule is now officially complete (all times CST): Thursday, May 15th, all day: media and fan arrival and check-in, receipt of credentials Friday, May 16th, am/early afternoon: participant and guest arrival and unpacking at Casa de Nolan Friday, May 16th, afternoon: 2008 Chicago NFL-DDC Pro-Am at Sydney R. Marovitz Golf Course Friday, May 16th, evening: 2008 Chicago NFL-DDC Pro-Am Banquet at Finley Mahoney's Friday, May 16th, late evening: 2008 Chicago NFL-DDC "get the other team drunker than your team event" at Sluggers Saturday, May 17th, 11:00am: travel to Cog Hill Saturday, May 17th, 1:00pm: 2008 Chicago NFL-DDC at Cog Hill Saturday, May 17th, 8:30pm: 2008 Chicago NFL-DDC at Cog Hill Banquet at Mike Ditka's (formal attire required), awarding of the Birdie Sunday, May 18th, morning: 2008 Chicago NFL-DDC at Cog Hill "morning after breakfast" at the International House of Pancakes (IHOP) Sunday, May 18th, 1:20pm: appearance at the famed Wrigley Field Bleachers for Chicago Cubs vs. Pittsburgh Pirates
Sunday, May 18th, post-game: media, fan, participant and guest departure More information about Wrigley Field: http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com/2008/01/27/30-wrigley-field/ http://chicago.cubs.mlb.com/chc/ballpark/index.jsp http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wrigley_Field http://espn.go.com/page2/s/list/ballparks/010427.html

NFL DDC UPDATE EXPECTED SOON FROM CHICAGO HOST COMMITTEE

Chicago (AP): According to "unnamed sources," 2008 Chicago NFL-DDC at Cog Hill Host Committee Chairman Matt Nolan is expected to make an announcement about the 2008 Chicago NFL-DDC at Cog Hill some time this weekend, possibly as early as Friday afternoon. When asked about the announcement, Nolan denied the news vehemently. "I'm disappointed in this NFL-DDC press release by the AP," Nolan said. "It's not true." Nolan claimed that an announcement of this magnitude would certainly have "landed on my desk."

The AP is fighting back, however, with this press release. "We publish stories when they are ready," said AP correspondent Matt Nolan. "This story was no exception. It was a long time in the works."

Former Nolan aides are saying that news of the potential announcement was "highly implausible."

In other news, 2008 Chicago NFL-DDC at Cog Hill Host Committee Chairman Matt Nolan issued a press release this morning announcing that the further news regarding the 2008 Chicago NFL-DDC at Cog Hill schedule would be released over the weekend, possibly as early as Friday afternoon.

NFL DDC Member Injured in Tragic Lunch Accident

ST. LOUIS (AP)--Long time NFL DDC hero, Michael Roush, was injured today when he slipped on stairs on the campus of St. Louis University. His status for the DDC has been listed as "probable" for the past four years but after the fall Roush's status was downgraded to "day-to-day." It had been raining sleet and ice all day in St. Louis and the staricase had become very slippery by the time of the accident. Several witnesses started laughing at Roush because he looked like an elephant with ice skates on but once they learned who they were silenced out of fear the DDC would have to go on without one if its most storied players.
"At first I laughed and pointed because it looked really painful and I like laughing at people who hurt themselves," said a random d-bag who witnessed the fall, "but once I saw who it was I just froze. It wasn't until he got to his feet and said 'And he's okay" like Wayne from 'Wayne's World' did I feel better."
Apparently Roush was not the first to suffer the wrath of the Busch Student Center staircase that morning.
"Just a couple of minutes before Mike fell, I saw a really moron also fall down the stairs. It was hilarious." D-bag #2 said. "It was only a matter of time before someone else fell too but I didn't want to stop drinking my latte to warn anyone that people were falling down the stairs."
When reached for comment about the injury Roush's representatives would only confirm the fall occured but would not comment about the severity of the injury.
"At this time, we are unclear about the full extent of his injuries. He was able to walk the rest of the way to eat his ceasar salad for lunch but we are not sure if his golf swing will be okay." said Floyd Thames, Roush's long-time trainer.
"All we can do is hope and pray. Although I am sure that if he is able to recover and win the DDC this year, it will be the most remarkable sporting event in the history of remarkable sporting events."

Bubba Tunes: The Weekend

If you follow the news as closely as me, you have probably noticed the biggest story to hit the headlines in years, Roger Clemens is pulling out of ESPN: The Weekend. For those of you unaware of what "ESPN: The Weekend" is, let me inform you. ESPN is a cable news network that broadcasts primarily sports related programing. A weekend, in this country, is considered the days of the week known as Saturday and Sunday. (Friday after seventeen hundred hours is also considered part of a weekend is some areas.) It is important to note that a weekend can be expanded by as much as two days at a time with the presence of national holidays. For example if Independence Day fell on a Friday and the following Monday was also a national holiday, (i.e. Memorial Day) then people would be off of work Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday thus creating a four day weekend. So those are the basics. ESPN: The Weekend happens once a year when the network ESPN relocates to Disney Land and broadcasts from there. That is about it. The only cool thing about it is that Trey Wingo gets to hang out with the cast of High School Musical 2 and really this is only cool for Trey's children (and I don't even know if he has kids, it is just an assumption.)

In honor of ESPN: The Weekend I am proposing the following "weekends" with their respective locations and what celebrities should be there:

1. NBC: The Weekend; Location--Palisades, California (Home of Saved by the Bell); Celebrities-- The entire casts of every seasons of every Law & Order show every to make the air.

2. Martha Stewart: The Weekend; Location--Alderson Federal Prison Camp; Celebrities--The cast of Everyday Foods on PBS.

3. NBA: The Weekend; Location--New Orleans; Celebrities--The best basketball players in the NBA...I think this weekend may have already happened though.

4. SLU Law School: The Weekend; Location--The Omar Poos Law Library; Celebrities--Mike Owens

5. Hootie and the Blowfish: The Weekend; Location--Columbia, South Carolina; Celebrities--The Who.

6. Michael Clayton: The Weekend; Location--Milwaukee, Wisconsin; Celebrities--Nicholas Clooney, Rosemary Clooney, and Sydney Pollack

Brain...is...fried...

No post today because regulation 1.704-2(b), (c), (d), (e), and (f) have turned my mind to mush but I did want to point out that there is a new leader in the NFL DDC poll.

Just so you don't feel cheated, here is a random link to a random story.

One more bonus link for all you aspiring Lance Armstrong/American Idols out there.

Bonds is toast.

This is a surprise only in that he was actually tested.

UPDATE: As it turns out, Bonds never failed a drug test in 2001, it was in 2000 and was already mentioned in the indictment. This is what they keep telling us in law school, typos are bad.

Free Rich!

It has gotten out of hand. West Virginia needs to take a deep breath, calm down, and realize their football coach left them for a different job. Whose fault was it? Does it matter? I mean really, here is what happened: Rich Rodriguez did not like the treatment he was getting from the powers-that-be in the West Virginia athletic department and he was offered one of the best coaching jobs in college athletics so he left. This happens all of the time. Roy Williams left Kansas for North Carolina and people were not so cheesed. Sure Williams was leaving a school to go to his alma mater and Rodriguez did the opposite but they were both steps up in their respective sports. WVU fans will argue that it wasn't that Rodriguez left it was the manner in which he left, that is why death threats to his family are justified. That is just brillant. Let's see here, Rodriguez got a job offer, told the school about it, the AD said get the hell out, and he did. Would it really have matter if he spent an hour, two hours, a day and a half with is team explaining what was going on before he left? I doubt it. He addressed the team in a manner he thought was appropriate and moved on. The team has apparrently moved on as well judging from their performance against Oklahoma. I thought that the pettiness would end after the Fiesta Bowl and the hiring of Coach Stewart but people just won't let things go. I shake my finger at you West Virginia. [Shake, shake, shake.]

PS Tomorrow I will try to inject some more humor into my posts. I may even open with some high quality knock-knock jokes.

Michigan-free Big Ten Basketball Shenanigans

Kelvin, Kelvin, Kelvin. Did you learn nothing from your days in Oklahoma. While the NCAA is not exactly the CIA (see Tressel, Bobby Bowden, Pete Carroll: all still "clean") the will find out about activities of coachs STILL UNDER SANCTIONS. The NCAA's latests allegations are not exactly minor issues. We are talking about wide spread and rampant recruiting violations that will most likely land Indiana in a world of pain. If these allegations are true (and because it is Indiana and not Michigan I am assuming they are) then Sampson should be fired immediately. Indiana is having a decent season and they could do some damage in the tournament but that should not be a factor in Indiana's decision. What should be a factor is this: Bobby Knight is available! There is enough water under the bridge to bring the General back to Bloomington and lead the Hoosiers back to dominance once again. I am officially starting the Knight Falls on Bloomington Campaign to bring him back to Hoosier ball. If you want to join the campaign go to Indiana and stand in the picket lines. I would go myself but I have never been to the campus and I'm not going to start now.

Who Framed Roger Clemens?

Well Roger Clemens had his day in front of Congress today and boy oh boy is everything clear now. Clemens speaking from the same table as Brian McNamee was finally able to speak and was backed up 100% by McNamee...or not. As it turns out a professional athlete testifying before Congress is a bit of a joke. Here is a complete list of everything that we learned from the testimony today: 1) Mrs. Clemens was on the juice; 2) Not everyone on the Oversight Committee thought this was a good use of time; 3) Rep. Waxman is a very short and very odd looking dude. That is it. Clemens denied every doing steroids and McNamee said that he gave Clemens injections of steroids, HGH, heroin, crack, and horse tranquilizes but denied ever injecting him with B-12, lidocaine, or anything other legal drug, he just stuck with the illegal ones. He swears. Clemens, on the other hand, said the McNamee is a totally lying man. Like totally.

I watched the second half of this four and a half hour waste of tax payer money and found Clemens to be much more believable that McNamee who was caught in a number of lies and called out for it by more than a few members of the committee including Rep. Christopher Shays who flat out called him a drug dealer. Having said this, there are a number of holes in Clemen's testimony. The biggest elephant in the room (who actually wasn't in the room at all) was Andy Pettitte. Pettitte signed an affidavit saying that sometime around 2000 he and Clemens talked about HGH and Clemens indicated that he had tried it before. Later in 2005, Clemens said that Pettitte had misunderstood the earlier conversation because he meant his wife had tried it, not him. This is all well and good but in the testimony today Clemens said that his wife first tried it later than 2000. This may have been a slip of the tongue because the testimony had been going on for a while by then but if it wasn't then he's got some 'splaining to do. It just makes his statements contradict each other. What makes things even harder for Clemens is that McNamee fingered Pettitte and Chuck Knoblauch and they both confirmed the accusations. If McNamee was telling the truth about those two then why would he lie about Clemens? He could be for any number of reasons but it just doesn't add up to outsiders.

Putting the truthfulness aspect aside, I can tell you that Clemens handled himself very well during the testimony. He never backed away from an answer and spoke sternly but respectfully. He said that he does not support using performance enhancing drugs and seemed very sincere when he said student athletes and children should be aware of their dangers and they should never use them. This performance was so much better than Mark McGwire in 2005 who vowed to do everything he could to help keep children away from steroids but at the same time kept repeating he would not answer any questions regarding drugs in his own life. Clemens answered every question thrown his way and while he didn't hit every answer out of the park, he did much better than most pitchers would fair at the plate. (Look a baseball metaphor--a bit forced but who cares, this is my blog.)

I just ask that you don't fake the funk on a nasty dunk.

Rudy Gay wants you! I know there are a million jokes that could be made about Mr. Gay's name but I don't want to stoop to a third grade sense of humor (he he...Gay). Gay wants people to film themselves doing slam dunks so that he can copy them and win the NBA Slam Dunk Contest. Now I haven't watched a slam dunk contest since Michael Jordan was in his prime because everything that can be done has been done. Any dunk that is attempted now is either a repeat or just plain lame. I saw one where the dunker (I have forgotten who now) went up to dunk a ball and while he was at the apex of the jump slapped a sticker on the back board. Yeah it was cool that he could jump so high but there already is a contest for high jumpers, it's called the "high jump." Whatever you do, Rudy, don't try this one or you might get sued.

Boo United States District for the Northern District of West Virginia, Clarksburg Division

In one of the most unjust rulings in this nation's history, the West Virginia University money grab case will be heard in West Virginia state court after all. Last month Rich Rodriguez tried to have his case removed to federal court but today the feds said they do not have jurisdiction because WVU is essentially an arm of the State of West Virginia. The travesty of it all. What this means for Coach Rodriguez is that his chances of a fair trial went from about 34% (the federal district his case would have been heard is also in WV) to around .00027%. Fair trial or no, he can appeal the eventual verdict, postpone any payment, and keep this thing in the legal system until his retirement but I doubt that will happen. The sides will eventually come to some settlement and both will claim to have been the winner. The way I see it, I would gladly pay $4 million dollars to get the hell out of West Virginia. (Although Wheeling is a lovely town.)

Man, between this and the last post you might think I am some authoritarian dictator person but I assure you that is not the case. I just think that if I think I am right, everyone else should toe the line and step to. In any case, America, F--- Yeah! USA USA USA USA USA USA.

Poll Malfunction

As you can see to the right of this post, there has been a malfunction with the NFL DDC poll. It appears that Team Nolan-Ostrander (Team NO) has received more votes than Team Roush-Stachowiak (Team Kick Ass). Appearances can be deceiving. I have heard from the nice folks at Blogger and they have told me that there is no way Team No can ever poll better than Team Kick Ass and there must be some bug in the program. Until this problem is rectified there will be harsh penalties to anyone that votes for Team No. This penalty may come in any form so just watch yourself. One day you would be surfing the net and then BOOM! INTERNET CLOSED! That is right I will close off your access to the internet. You know I have the power. Just check out the extent of my technological know-how:

Hyperlink.

That's right, I know how to send you to any website I want just by clicking on some underlined blue words. You are just lucky that this time it is to a Michigan Blog and not right out of the internet.

PS--This is not voter intimidation. If you think it is just watch out because I will get you.

Today is February 9, 2008

...and if it is your birthday, Happy Flipping Birthday.

They say it's your birthday.
Well it's my birthday to yeah...

From all of the Bubba Tunes Family,

Happy Birthday Liz!

LOCATION OF NFL DDC PRO-AM DINNER DETERMINED

Chicago (AP): The 2008 NFL DDC Pro-Am Dinner, which will come after the NFL DDC Pro-Am at Marovitz Golf Course and prior to the third annual NFL DDC "Get the other team drunker than your team" event at Sluggers, will be held at Finley Mahoney's. Finley Mahoney's is described by its owner as "an oasis in Boystown for straights."
http://www.centerstagechicago.com/bars/Finleys.html

Stay tuned to www.bubbatunes.blogspot.com/ for more NFL-DDC news, the official website of the 2008 Chicago NFL-DDC at Cog Hill.

Host Fight!!

This is classic. It also may be the reason behind Huckabee's success on Super Tuesday.

Celebrities Abound in the Comments Section

Not since Catuf and his libelous comments has my comment board been graced by such noteworthy commentators. (Yes, that was three uses of "comment-" in the same sentence.) As of this posting Mike Tirico, Scott Van Pelt, Johnny Miller, Shooter McGavin, and David Feherty have all posted their thoughts on the upcoming NFLDDC. This really shouldn't shock anyone (except for the fact a fictional character from an Adam Sandler movie actually has internet access) since Bubba Tunes is the official website for NFLDDC coverage. We promise you to give you the best and most insightful internet coverage of the 2008 NFLDDC. In the coming days, weeks, and months be sure to come back because there are sure to be many more comments from people in the news about the tradition that is the NFLDDC.

PRESS RELEASE

PRESS RELEASE
(for immediate release, including on bubbatunes.blogspot.com)

According to NFL DDC Chicago Host Committee chair Matt Nolan, the date of the 2008 NFL Draft Day Classic has officially been set. Despite the fact that the actual NFL Draft occurs the weekend of April 25th-27th, due to scheduling conflicts spurred by one participant's law school term and another's wedding events, the 2008 NFL Draft Day Classic will be played at Cog Hill Golf and Country Club #1 the weekend of May 16th-18th, 2008.

This is the first time that Chicago has played host to the prestigious NFL DDC, and the shortcomings during last year's Chicago Marathon have many wondering if the city will be up for the challenge. Additional pressure is being applied by the International Olympic Committee (IOC), many members of which will be in attendance at this year's NFL DDC as part of their evaluations of Chicago as a potential host city for the 2016 Summer Olympics. Nolan says that none should be worried.

"The 2008 Chicago NFL DDC at Cog Hill is going to be Legen...wait for it...DARY!" Nolan said. "Each year's host city has risen to new heights, and 2008 Cog Hill will be no different. DDC members, as well as their significant others, should prepare for a weekend of pure awesomeness."

Cog Hill, nestled in Chicago's near south-west suburbs, is the annual site of the BMW Championship, or at it was formerly known, the Western Open. Tiger Woods shattered Cog Hill's scoring record with a final-round 63 in 2007, which most NFL DCC participants hope to come in somewhere around on the front nine. Course #1 is described as having "...enough sand, woods and water to test the accomplished player, but not to punish the beginner." Other previous winners of the Western Open include Jim Furyk, Nick Price, Ben Crenshaw, Tom Kite, Tom Watson, Jack Nicklaus, Chi Chi Rodriguez, Arnold Palmer, Sam Snead, Ben Hogan and Walter Hagen. Woods took home $1,260,000 for his 2007 victory -- but even he never captured "The Birdie" at Cog Hill, as either Roush/Stachowiak or Nolan/Ostrander will.

While a full itinerary is pending until spring, Nolan advises NFL DDC members, fans and media to plan on arriving in Chicago by noon on Friday and remaining in town until early evening on Sunday, as there will be an NFL DDC event on Sunday for the first time.

Accommodations for the 2008 NFL DDC at Cog Hill will be provided at [redacted], although additional air mattresses and pillows are encouraged and welcome. Some, but not all, additional details are also available:

The 2008 NFL DDC Pro-Am will be played on Friday at the Sydney R. Marovitz Golf Course, a Chicago municipal course that is walking distance from the guests' accommodations.

After the pro-am and an informal dinner (location TBD) on Friday, participants and their spouses will be invited to Sluggers, a Wrigleyville mainstay that will be providing dueling piano music and 16 oz beer cans well into the evening.

The 2008 NFL DDC Banquet, which follows the tournament on Saturday, will be held at Mike Ditka's, a downtown Chicago steakhouse that both glorifies Da Coach and provides excellent steaks, wine and cigars. Gentlemen are requested to SUIT UP!! for the occasion, while ladies should be inclined toward dresses. Dinner reservations are set for 8:30pm.

"Chicago is ready to show the world that it is ready to host a world-class sporting event," continued Nolan. "The Planning Committee is putting in long hours to make sure that no detail is forgotten, and that the 2008 Chicago NFL DDC at Cog Hill is the best yet."

Additional Information about Sydney R. Marovitz Golf Course: http://cpdgolf.com/layout10.asp?id=167&page=2941
Additional information about Sluggers: http://www.sluggersbar.com/piano2.asp?page=piano
News article proclaiming Sluggers the 3rd best baseball bar in America: http://sports.espn.go.com/travel/news/story?id=2974648
Additional Information about Cog Hill: http://www.coghillgolf.com/
Additional Information about Mike Ditka's: http://www.mikeditkaschicago.com/

Wow...people actually read this blog.

It's true, World! Really sad people read my really sad blog. Today I noticed that I actually had a comment posted on my blog that was by someone other than me and boy were they mad. The first two (and at this point only two) comments of this post perfectly reflect the feelings of WVU and Michigan fans. Here I post a humorous, completely biased, and extremely rough sketch of the situation regarding the Rodriguez suit and a WVU fan actually reads it (a fact that is incredible on its own given the average IQ of a WV fan), understands the law enough to make reasonable counterpoints (again, incredible), and spends time posting a comment that includes citations, bullet points, and the names of the judges involved in the case. Luckily for me, my boy Ostradamus, had my back and posted a retort. This is a day that will go down in history. The first debate to be fought in the comment section to my blog. I would spend the time to reply to the original comment but I have decided not against it. This is not because I have an indefensible position. (I do not. Rodriguez from all reports has sound legal footing. He has filed a reply but I have not had the chance to read it yet.) It is instead because I want to keep the comments and the blog seperate. If I reply to every person that posts something on this amazing website I would have to quit school, my job, never speak to my wife, eat at my desk everyday, and never watch American Gladiators again. No, I have decided to maintain a certain professionalism and not get into pissing matches with commentors. (This is pretty ironic because this whole post is in response to a comment...oh well, my blog, my rules.) I am just amazed someone was able to find this blog who actually cared about something I wrote about. Okay, it is Friday night I need to stop being a nerd and go do something. I think I'll go watch October Sky.

Life meet Law School. Law School meet Life.

As many of you out there in internetland may have already known, I am both a University of Michigan alum and a current law student. Since I go to a law school hundreds of miles and three or four states away from Michigan there are not many Michigan grads in my class. Given this, my love for all things Michigan and my acceptance of all things law rarely collide. If I read something for fun it is Michigan related. If I read something for school, it is most decidedly not Michigan related. Now, however, thanks to my Civil Procedure professor and his interests in both all things civil procedure related and all things sports related, my two worlds have become one. That is right, for my Civ Pro homework today I have to read a couple of motions submitted by the parties in the West Virginia University Board of Governors v. Richard Rodriguez. As you know, Rich Rodriguez, the glorious new head football coach of the Michigan Wolverines, has been dastardly and cowardly sued by the evil and infamous West Virginia Mountaineers. If you are unaware of what is going on here is a quick recap:
1. West Virginia hires alumnus Rich Rodriquez to replace Don Nehlen as head football coach.
2. Rodriguez does pretty well considering he had to replace a Michigan grad.
3. WVU wins a few games in the Big East and become national contenders.
4. Rodriguez gets offered a job at Alabama for a lot of money.
5. WVU promises Rodriguez the world if he would stay at WVU.
6. Rodriguez says okay to WVU but only if he gets a bunch of stuff.
7. WVU says okay.
8. Rodriguez receives a draft of the contract and sits on it for six months becuase it has a buyout clause that he does not want in there.
9. The governor of WV, the president of WVU, and the athletic director of WVU all say that the buyout clause will not be enforced and they don't want it in there either but also tell Rodriguez that he should sign right now anyway because they want to look like there is harmony amongst all parties.
10. Rodriguez coaches the 2007 season and kicks all butt except for Pittsburgh and as a result they don't get to go to the national championship. All the while, WVU doesn't follow through on any of the promises it made to Rodriguez and flat out tells him they don't have to do squat.
11. Michigan, being a wonderful and charitable university, offers Rodriguez a job and promises him he can pretty much have full control of the program.
12. Rodriguez accepts the job and tells WVU that while they can still be friends, they have to go their seperate ways.
13. The entire state of West Virginia explodes into rage. All things Rodriguez are outlawed, he is banned from the state and ordered never to return. His family is chastized, assaulted, harassed, and threatened.
14. Rodriguez establishes residency in the state of Michigan.
15. WVU files suit in a WV state court against Rodriguez for a $4 million dollar buyout.
16. Rodriguez says to WVU, you kicked me out of the state and I was forced to become a resident of Michigan so if you want to sue me, sue me in a federal court.
17. WVU says no you are a resident of WV because we have a much better shot here where everyone hates you.
18. Rodriguez says, look WVU, you are acting like a bunch of petulent children. In the name of good faith and peace I will put up a $1.5 million letter of credit with the court. If you want to be adults about the whole thing take the money and go on with your life. I wish you the best.
19. WVU to Rodriguez: F--- You!

Okay so that wasn't exactly brief (nor unbiased) but it should get you up to speed. Anyway, in my Civil Procedure class we are discussing jurisdictional matters and what cases are allowed to be heard in federal courts and which ones are not based on the citizenship of the parties. This case is a great example of how things work because Rodriguez was a resident of WV at one point but now he may not be anymore and wants the case moved from state court to federal court. WVU obviously wants to keep the case in state court so they have moved to keep it there by saying that Rodriquez is not a Michigan citizen and that the university is not a citizen of WV for diversity purposes. Crazy stuff. I will keep you up to date with things that transpire both in court and in class.

PS. It is snowing today and St. Louis drivers have absolutely no clue how to drive in the snow so if you live in the St. Louis area when you are driving please don't freak out, hit the brake hard, lose control of your car, and hit me. If you do I am a law student and am learning how to sue people.

Draft Day Classic Countdown Begins Now

It is only 93 days until the real tradition unlike any other, The NFL Draft Day Classic. This year the host city, Chicago, Illinois, has spared no expense readying the city for the expected crowds that come with the DDC. Mayor Daly created a DDC task force three years ago to impliment an urban DDC strategy. "Until recently the DDC has been held in cities with modest population and infrastructure. As a result, the DDC was able to use the vast amounts of vacant space for their own uses." DDC Committee member and consultant to the task force, Matthew Nolan explained, "With Chicago, there is a lot of space that will not be availible for DDC purposes. All in all, the DDC will only have access to roughly 73% of the land and buildings within the city limits." The DDC's main event, of course, is the golf tournament. This year the location of the tournament is a closely held secret known only to Nolan. Stay tuned for more.

I, I, I'm still alive. Oh Ohhh I, I, I'm still alive.

It was recently brought to my attention that it has been over a month since I posted anything to this the world's greatest and most informative blog ever. I haven't been in a coma or anything I was just enjoying my Christmas break. For those many, many readers out there here is a list of stuff that has happened since my last post:
1. Michigan hired Rich Rodriquez. (Yey! The Big Blue meets the Big Spread.)
2. I took four law school exams. (Boo to studying but yey to them being done.)
3. Rich Rodriquez established residencey in the great state of Michigan. (Yey to job creating Michigan.)
4. I went Christmas shopping. (Boo to bank account, Yey to people seemed to like most of them.)
5. I opened Christmas presents. (Yey! Rowing machine and yey! Tivo.)
6. West Virginia University filed a law suit against Rich Rodriquez in a West Virginia state court. (Boo!)
7. Michigan beats the tar (read: won a thriller) out of Florida and sends Lloyd Carr out a winner. (Yey to Lloyd!)
8. West Virginia complains that Rich Rodriquez shredded ten rooms full of every incriminating evidence against him and erased 18 minutes of secret recordings of conversations held in his office.
9. Rich Rodriquez moves to have the lawsuit tried in federal court. (Yey! Damn local bias, we're going to the feds because we have diversity like a mo-fo.)
10. WVU says Rodriquez refutes federal jurisdiction because they say Rodriquez is still a WV resident because that is where WVU fans keep sending him death threats and letter bombs. (Boo to counterclaims by vindictive universities.)
11. The new semester of law school starts. (Yay to...umm...things?)

There are plenty of other things that happened, including things that actually happened to me but I will get to those things at a later date. Until then, up your hole with peace, love, and soul.

Oh, World, I am sick of it.

World, I am stuck here studying for finals and all I can think about are the following:
1. The Michigan Coach Search--What a distraction. I keep refreshing every sports page or Michigan blog out there in the hopes of finding a new nugget of information about what is going on. This is a completely useless endeavor because as soon as any "news" breaks, another story follows within minutes refuting the prior story. Miles is coming. Miles isn't coming. Yes he is! NO HE'S NOT! YES HE IS!! SERIOUSLY, HE IS NOT. Okay but I heard Mike Ditka has agreed to terms. I know that nothing is fact until it someone has signed their name on the dotted line but I have to know what is going on. I know there are things happening behind closed doors so just tell me. I promise I will not leak the information to anyone, especially not to OSU alum on national sports programs.

2. Christmas--It is everywhere; on TV, the radio, online, in my living room and all I can think about is if Santa will finally bring me my official Red Ryder carbine action two-hundred shot range model air rifle with a compass in the stock. To update that to modern terms I want the following modest gifts:
a. A computer
b. a cool remote controlled car
c. a playhouse for the kids
d . my favorite baseball card ever
e. a fun board game
f. a gift card for something cool
g. a cool trip
h. a new tv
i. summer toys
j. a cool get away spot

3. Food--Let's face it, I always think about food.
4. The writer's strike--Okay we get it. Writers want more money and the executives don't want to give it to them. All I know is that as soon as Kiefer gets out of jail, the new season of 24 had better be on the air and run non stop. Lost also has to be on or there will be hell to pay. Hell I say. HELL!

Well I have to hit the books again. Happy Birthday Jim.

I just hope Nermal wasn't behind this

I don’t really like the idea of Abu Dhabi controlling Citigroup but Citigroup was put into a bad situation (largely through their own actions). They had to do the best thing for their shareholders (e.g. sell too Abu Dhabi) but as the largest American bank they should have duty to the country not to let a foreign state control the majority of their assets. I would have preferred Citi sell only the same amount that the Saudi billionaire has and tried to get another investor to buy the difference. This would definitely have been much harder to do because Abu Dhabi probably did the deal in the first place only because it would be the majority shareholder, if they weren’t the deal may not have happened. Also finding a big time investor like that is incredibly difficult to do. I stand by my convictions about government interference in these types of matters (they should stay out of it) but I think in this case the feds had better keep a very very close eye on things and should step in if there is any hint of impropriety. This is somewhat hypocritical but it’s the best I have for now. At this point, if I am Citigroup (and if it is even legal), I would try to find people/companies that are already large shareholders in Citigroup and get them to sell their shares to an newly created holding company that they all own a proportionate stake in.

P.S. If you get the title of this post give yourself a pat on the back.

Ma, Zoo, Rah?

For those of you that are not familiar with Big 12 football and more specifically, Missouri Tiger football, then let me throw some knowledge your way: It is absolutely and totally bind blowing that they are the number one team in the nation. The last time that happened JFK had just won the election over Richard Nixon. The last time they even shared a conference championship was in 1969. Nixon had risen to the presidency by then but at the time the Watergate Hotel was just barely two years old and the only break-ins that had occurred were into the guest room mini-bars. (Incidentally, I don’t know why I have related everything back to Nixon so just run with it.) Since that last championship the Tigers have only had 11 winning seasons and none of more than 8 wins. Needless to say this is kind of big news for the State of Missouri. Sure we aren’t as big of a football base as places like Texas or Michigan but damn it if we aren’t better then everyone right now.

Am I a bandwagon jumper? Probably, but I justify my new found Missouri love by saying that I have two alumni in my family (Grandpa and Sister) and that my allegiance to the University of Michigan is not in jeopardy because they are far, far, far out of the picture. The only hiccup really is that my wife went to grad school at Illinois and Mizzou and Illinois don’t really like each other much. Ok they don’t like each other at all. But this is no problem because I am an adamant Michigan fan and the fine folks in Champaign-Urbana hate (I am using the word “hate” here) us so if I support Mizzou I am not really any worse off with them then before.

Missouri still has to beat Oklahoma in the Big 12 Championship game. They lost to the Sooners earlier in the year and are underdogs again this week so the Tigers’ trip to the number one spot may be short lived but if it isn’t hold on to your hats folks because Missourians have beaten the odds before.

Sorry Detroit.

For the last few years St. Louis has been the "Most Crime Ridden City in the History of Man" according to a bunch of snake oil salesmen but this year they have ranked Detroit as being the worst crime city in the world (country). Let me just tell you that I am from Detroit originally but have lived in St. Louis pretty much most of my life so I know which is worse first hand. When they originally ranked St. Louis number 1 I was shocked. I could walk down the street in the Lou at any time of day or night and would be fine. In Detroit, if you parked too far away from Tiger Stadium you would be lucky to have a car there once the game was over. This being said, I really don't think this list should be out there. According to the FBI the company that puts this out skews the data quite a bit and is pretty unreliable. Also while Detroit may have the worst crime, it doesn't mean you won't get your ass shot in Atlantic City or even Mission Viejo (the allegedly safest city in America).

Here is a little tip I learned from my boy, Lloyd Carr: don't be stupid. It applies but if you are stupid you won't realize it until your stupidity has failed you for the last time.

Class

Lloyd Carr officially announced his retirement today. At the press conference he handled himself very well and the media members in attendance applauded him twice. Lloyd has a rep for calling out members of the press when they ask dumb questions and making sideline reporters' interviews a hell of a lot shorter than they expected. Even with this, the media respected him so much that they still gave him two ovations at his press conference.

Lloyd's time at Michigan should be remembered for how he carried himself and represented the University of Michigan both on and off the field. If the next coach has half the class Lloyd has the school will be in good shape.

Good luck Lloyd (I know you read this blog).

Google and I need to talk.

It was so cool. I was bored reading my Constitutional Law assignment so I decided to google my blog. I typed "bubba tunes" into the search bar and boom, there I was. My blog was the first (and second) result. It was amazing. I was so excited I told my wife and she tried it out and thought it was the coolest thing in the history of man kind as well. Today I started writing a post about how cool it was and I wanted to have a link to the results for the ease of you reader but this time when I googled it, Bubba Tunes was nowhere to be found. What a rip off. One of the founders of Google went to Michigan so I thought since I went there too I would get some kind of preferential treatment or something. This is the one week of the year when Michigan men need to band together and show a united front against the vile Buckeye horde. Google probably just didn't realize I was a Michigan guy because there are probably like dozens of websites out there and it is probably really hard to keep track of everyone 24/7. I will try again and maybe this time Bubba Tunes will return to number one on Google.

GO BLUE!!

PS Maybe Google is just mad because I don't have any cool graphics up. I will try to get a hold of those creative people over at Homestar Runner and see if they can give me a couple of tips or something.

Law School Gets in the Way Again

Okay so last night was the world broadcast premier of the new HBO documentary called “The Rivalry.” It was supposed to be an in-depth look at the Michigan – Ohio State game and the history behind it. This is quite a detour from typical HBO documentaries as it was not about the illicit sex practices of dwarfs in Mongolia, an East Coast baseball team that only complete knobs care about, or how a certain baseball team in the National League Central Division never even sniffs a winner but somehow people still get drunk enough to show up to the games.

Now I actually own a different documentary about the very same rivalry and it is very well done. The only problem is that it is like ten years old. The HBO documentary was up-to-date. It covered the time period when I actually attended school and already knew intimately what the rivalry was all about. I mean come on, I could been in it for crying out loud. Since I was quite the BMOC in my day, the odds are that I am definitely in it. Needless to say I was quite excited to see it. The only problem was I had class when it aired. So now I have to pick one of the fifty other times it airs this week to watch it. What a drag. I really wanted to see it the first time.

Law school is many things but kind it is not. When I grow up and start rolling in the Benjamins, I am going to buy the naming rights to one of the towers planned in the Michigan Stadium renovations and name it the “Don’t Ever Go To Law School If You Want To See HBO Documentaries The First Time They Air” Tower.

Go Blue!

PS Blues over the Red Wings last night so, Go Blues!

Who knew?

I am taking Evidence this semester and it has been okay so far but we are now knee deep in the rules covering hearsay. I had no f'ing clue that this little word could bring so much confusion. I have seen Law and Order so I know what hearsay is. If a witness says, "Johnny told me he had a gun" it is hearsay. Simple right. Then came FRE 801(d)(1), 801(d)(2), 803, 804, and a bazillion other rules and exceptions that twist your brain so much cerebral goo shoots out your ears and the statement "Johnny told me he had a gun" really isn't hearsay but rather the stone cold truth.

The bright side is that there are only 6 more days until The Game.

GO BLUE!!

Boo Wisconsin. Yea Illinois!

I would usually use more curse words but since we still have a shot to go to Pasedena I will keep myself calm for now.

Inside the Mind of a Law Student (Part 1 of an ongoing investigation)

I am sitting here in the reading room of the law library on campus (no I haven't told you where I go; I don't know you that well yet) and I'm reading all about the discovery process in civil litigation. I know, you are thinking, "Why do you get to have all the fun?" Well as fun as it sounds, reading Civil Procedure, Property Law, Constitutional Law, Evidence, Administrative Law, Federal Taxation, Contracts, and other subjects I have already forgotten about is not always like the log flume. Sure it starts off really fun as you are slowly climbing the hill sitting in a "log" that is really made of fiberglass, steel, and other things that don't float, but when you get to the top of this ride there is no exhilarating descent that ends in a fun splash. No, when you get to the top of this ride the drop is long and slow and it ends in one of three things: 1. (the best ending) you retire rich, successful and die happy; 2. (the acceptable ending) you retire but did not plan on living much longer and you die in debt in a nursing home that makes the Abu Ghraib look like Club Med; or 3. (ending to be avoided) you do something for a client or your partner that you really shouldn't have and you end up in prison, your wife divorces you, and you die in an eight by eight cell as girlfriend to a 300lbs man named Manny "the Squeezer." The first ending is a pipe dream, the second is more probable than not, and the third is not as unlikely as most people would think.

Well back to work. I should have gotten in line for the tea cups.

Oh, blogging means you have to blog.

World, I am new to blogging so you have to give me time to fit posting new things into my routine. I have a life and I can't have you guys breaking that up. In between school, sleep, and food I don't have time for typing stuff just for your voyeuristic tendencies. Shame on you. Shame.

Holy crap I realize that I have written all this and there hasn't been any humor. Damn it. I wish there was a way to erase what I already wrote and insert a joke or something. Crap. Why did I say that? I should have just typed in a joke there so you would laugh. ARGH! What am I doing? This is insane. Just write a joke...anything...chicken crossed the road...anything. AAAHHHH. Okay here we go joke time. Um....uh.....okay I've got one. Stop me if you've heard it before. Okay, there was this farmer and one day while he was plowing in the field he came across this snake. He was just about to kill the snake when it yelled, "Stop don't kill me." The farmer could not believe the snake could talk...wait, that joke takes forever to tell and the punch line isn't worth the trouble. Oh, wait, I know...Knock, knock....Hey! I said "knock, knock"...Well if you aren't going to say "Who's there?" then what is the point of me continuing? It is quite obvious you just aren't interested in having fun. See if I try to tell you a joke again....

I will try to post more frequently. While I am no Mark Twain of the blogosphere I do hope to at least get to the level of Louis L'Amour. So just keep tuning in and I promise this garbage will soon be readable.