Earth Day Tips

Okay, so today is Earth Day and since Bubba Tunes is all about being green, today we will discuss (now that we have discussed T-shirts, Cubs Tickets, Jake Long, and DDC copiers) the problem of rising gas and energy prices. All of those readers that drive are well aware the price at the pump has gotten way out of hand. When I started driving I could fill up the entire tank for $8.00. Today this would barely get me 2 gallons at the local Shell station.

There are a lot of variables that contribute to the rising cost of gasoline but one solution pushed is bio-diesel and ethanol. Bio-diesel and ethanol use corn and other crops that will not only be a greener alternative to regular gas but will also reduce the price at the pump. Here’s the rub: using food for fuel apparently is not a good idea. Okay so you will only have to pay a buck to fill your SUV but you will have to boil your tires for food because that is all that’s left.

Another solution to rising gas prices that has spread over the internet over the years is to get everyone to pick one day when nobody buys gas. Oops. One-day gas boycotts is like having America stop going to McDonald’s on July 1st to reduce the price on Quarter Pounders with Cheese. On July 2nd the burgers will still be there and will still cost the same.

Okay okay, if there is no effective way to reduce demand quickly to lower the price, what about using a biofuels that don’t require using food? Excellent question, how about using algae instead of corn? Wrong…at least for now. While algae-based biofuel may be a solution down the line, right now it is just too darn expensive.

Okay Mike, what the hell do you propose then? Well, who says there is a problem? All I know is that I could stand to drop a couple pounds. I do have to fit into that “Those Who Stay Will Be Champions” t-shirt after all.

If you really want to do something to stop polluting like a crazy bastard here are some easy things that you can do:
1. Recycle - duh.
2. Use reusable bags at the grocery store--This is cheap and easy. The bags hold more stuff and if you shop at Trader Joe's they actually give you a discount for using reusable bags. Nifty.
3. Walk to the store across the street--I know you have a pimp ass ride but if it only takes a few minutes to walk then break out the Adidas Sambas and walk there.
4. Use long lasting light bulbs--These are cool not only because they use less energy and last longer, but they also come in cool twirly shapes.
5. Turn off the damn lights--If you aren't using the room, turn off the lights.
6. If you have a yard grow some veggies--I don't know exactly how this works as far as being environmentally sound but my guess is that if you eat vegetables that were not exposed to pesticides and were never shipped on a truck there would be that much less pesticides and gas emissions in the atmosphere. I think growing a garden is cool just because you can get in mad tomato fights with the neighbors.
7. Stop smoking-- This definitely has nothing to do with the environment but damn it I hate smelling like an ash tray every time I go to the bar.
8. When in doubt ask yourself, "what would that crying Indian think?"--You know the Indian that was really Italian from that commercial in the 1970s? Of course you do. If you are about to chuck something out of your car ask yourself if that Indian/Italian would cry or not. If there is no tear, have no fear. If he starts to cry, just pass on by. Emily Dickinson eat your heart out.
9. Convince your friends to buy hybrid cars but you don't buy one yourself--Right now the money you would pay for a hybrid is more than you would save at the pump but if your friends all buy hybrids less gas would be consumed. This has two good effects: 1. Less gas emissions; and 2. Lower demand and price of gas for you. In a few years when hybrids are worth it, then go for it. Until then let the swells take the burden.

I know there are some of you that want to bring littering back so there will be jobs for people like Hooty the Owl but you should remember that picking up litter would just provide more jobs for illegal immigrants and nobody wants that.

P.S. This message was brought to you by the ghost of Teddy Roosevelt, not Al Gore.