Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Since we last left our hero...
Okay so I have been a bit slow on the blogging lately but I have good excuses. As you all have read in the news, I lost the DDC again this year. Lesser men would cry and waste away into nothingness, but I am better than most men. I just got pissed. After I got back from Chicago I immediately went on a three day golfing trip to the Lake of the Ozarks. I did not shoot the best rounds of my life but the last nine holes were definitely my best so I ended on a high note. I then traveled another few hundred miles and went to my wife's cousin's wedding in Central Illinois. There I learned how to plant crops, barbecue enough meat to literally choke a horse, and how to dispose of a dead horse. I then travelled back to St. Louis and started my summer job. Here is what I have learned Rule13 = Scary ass shit. I now plan on eating food. I am too freaked out about breaking any model rules so that is all I will say for now. Suffice it to say I am a big baller and all you people better step. (That last sentence is false and is mostly an homage to my freshman year roommate for some reason as he his a baller and did make people step, as long as they swung from his tip.)
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
NOLAN/OSTRANDER CLAIM 3RD CONSECUTIVE DDC TITLE TO ESTABLISH DYNASTY
Chicago (AP): The fan poll of 175 voters had Roush/Stachowiak 65%-35%; Stachowiak had a new set of clubs; Nolan didn't hit a golf ball before the weekend; and yet, in the end, the more things changed, the more things stayed the same. For the third consecutive year, and by the largest margin in NFL-DDC history, Matt Nolan and Michael Ostrander captured the 2008 Chicago NFL-DDC at Cog Hill in weather that could only be described as gorgeous.
After exchanging holes through seven, Nolan and Ostrander captured the 8th, 9th, 10th and 11th for a five hole lead with seven to go. After winning the 12th to cut their deficit to four, Roush and Stachowiak looked to be on a roll on the 13th green, with both they and Ostrander on in 3 and Nolan on in 4. With Roush closest to the hole, this seemed to be where things would turn. However, in what can only be described as the most clutch moment in the long tradition of the NFL-DDC, Ostrander sank a 17 foot birdie put, and Nolan followed with a 15 footer for par himself, rendering Roush/Stachowiak's par/par moot and pushing the lead back to an insurmountable 5 with 5 to go. For good measure, Nolan and Ostrander won the 14th to capture the tournament, 6 and 4.
"This one felt good," said Ostrander, clutching the Birdie as Iron Mike Ditka looked on, slightly confused as to what was going on. "If we'd have lost this one, the series really would have evened out. Instead, the pressure only builds on Roush and Stachowiak for 2009 in St. Louis." Rumor has it that Roush and Stachowiak have already begun plans to scout and prepare for the course well ahead of time for 2009, and to sneakily not reveal the course until it is too late for Nolan and Ostrander to prepare. "That's fine," said Nolan. "I didn't prepare this year, and I still finished low man."
Despite the tensions and depression that encompassed a third-consecutive loss for Roush and Stachowiak, the media noticed that all participants and significant others appeared to have a most excellent time at the 2008 NFL-DDC at Cog Hill. Stachowiak won the Pro-Am for the 2nd year in a row (this year, at the Pistol), the women got in some shopping on Michigan Avenue, and all attendees got to sing Edelweiss and Kevin's Beer Song with liter mugs of beer, exchange barbs with Mike Ditka before eating his food, and witness a Chicago Cubs victory over the Pittsburgh Pirates (and a quite impressive batting practice show, which included a game of catch between the Pirates and Stachowiak) from the 3rd row of the left-field bleachers at historic Wrigley Field.
"Thanks to everyone for coming in and making the 2008 Chicago NFL-DDC at Cog Hill Legen..." said Nolan. After wiping a tear from his eye and looking to the west, to see the "W" flag flying over Wrigley, he seemed to be finally letting the emotions of the weekend of friendship and victory overtake him. In a soft whisper, and with a gleam in his eye, he concluded, "...dary."
After exchanging holes through seven, Nolan and Ostrander captured the 8th, 9th, 10th and 11th for a five hole lead with seven to go. After winning the 12th to cut their deficit to four, Roush and Stachowiak looked to be on a roll on the 13th green, with both they and Ostrander on in 3 and Nolan on in 4. With Roush closest to the hole, this seemed to be where things would turn. However, in what can only be described as the most clutch moment in the long tradition of the NFL-DDC, Ostrander sank a 17 foot birdie put, and Nolan followed with a 15 footer for par himself, rendering Roush/Stachowiak's par/par moot and pushing the lead back to an insurmountable 5 with 5 to go. For good measure, Nolan and Ostrander won the 14th to capture the tournament, 6 and 4.
"This one felt good," said Ostrander, clutching the Birdie as Iron Mike Ditka looked on, slightly confused as to what was going on. "If we'd have lost this one, the series really would have evened out. Instead, the pressure only builds on Roush and Stachowiak for 2009 in St. Louis." Rumor has it that Roush and Stachowiak have already begun plans to scout and prepare for the course well ahead of time for 2009, and to sneakily not reveal the course until it is too late for Nolan and Ostrander to prepare. "That's fine," said Nolan. "I didn't prepare this year, and I still finished low man."
Despite the tensions and depression that encompassed a third-consecutive loss for Roush and Stachowiak, the media noticed that all participants and significant others appeared to have a most excellent time at the 2008 NFL-DDC at Cog Hill. Stachowiak won the Pro-Am for the 2nd year in a row (this year, at the Pistol), the women got in some shopping on Michigan Avenue, and all attendees got to sing Edelweiss and Kevin's Beer Song with liter mugs of beer, exchange barbs with Mike Ditka before eating his food, and witness a Chicago Cubs victory over the Pittsburgh Pirates (and a quite impressive batting practice show, which included a game of catch between the Pirates and Stachowiak) from the 3rd row of the left-field bleachers at historic Wrigley Field.
"Thanks to everyone for coming in and making the 2008 Chicago NFL-DDC at Cog Hill Legen..." said Nolan. After wiping a tear from his eye and looking to the west, to see the "W" flag flying over Wrigley, he seemed to be finally letting the emotions of the weekend of friendship and victory overtake him. In a soft whisper, and with a gleam in his eye, he concluded, "...dary."
Thursday, May 15, 2008
The Polls Have Closed
...and Roush and Stachowiak were selected as the team the people want to see win the 2008 NFL DDC by a landslide. The results of the fan vote were not a surprise to anyone following this year's contest.
"I voted at least 20 times for my boys, Jim and Mike." Pardon the Interruption host, Tony Kornheiser said. "I even stopped voting on American Idol just to give Roush and Stack my full BS voting system loyalty."
Michael Wilbon was unavailable for comment because he was watching NBA Inside Stuff with Amad Rashad.
In other news, this year's NFL DDC players have started making final preparations ahead of the main event on Saturday and some have already started descending upon Chicago. Michael Ostrander's arrival in the Windy City is supposed to rival the homecoming of the 2000-2001 Chicago Bulls while Jim Stachowiak's forward team has started making the final touches at Soldier Field, Millenium Park, and the John Hancock Building for the multi-venue concert that will be held in celebration of his arrival. Over a billion people are expected to attend.
"I voted at least 20 times for my boys, Jim and Mike." Pardon the Interruption host, Tony Kornheiser said. "I even stopped voting on American Idol just to give Roush and Stack my full BS voting system loyalty."
Michael Wilbon was unavailable for comment because he was watching NBA Inside Stuff with Amad Rashad.
In other news, this year's NFL DDC players have started making final preparations ahead of the main event on Saturday and some have already started descending upon Chicago. Michael Ostrander's arrival in the Windy City is supposed to rival the homecoming of the 2000-2001 Chicago Bulls while Jim Stachowiak's forward team has started making the final touches at Soldier Field, Millenium Park, and the John Hancock Building for the multi-venue concert that will be held in celebration of his arrival. Over a billion people are expected to attend.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Oh...dear...God...
It was earlier reported that Mr. Ostrander's class officially endorsed Roush and Stachowiak in this year's NFL DDC. Apparently that report was wrong:
Dead wrong:
The goal for this year's NFL DDC and team Roush/Stachowiak? Never let this happen again:
"Look everyone! No pit stains!"
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Nerds
If you are a frequent reader of this blog you know that one of the things I learned while in Detroit for a bachelor party is that nobody born before 1989 will ever be as good as anyone born after 1989 in Guitar Hero. Here is my proof:
I especially like how proud the kid is at the end. The song that this 9 year old is playing is called "Through the Fire and Flames" by Dragonforce. When I first heard it I thought that it must be from some hair metal band from the 1980s. The thrashing guitars, the lyrics that remind me of movies like The Neverending Story, Legend, or Willow. Well I was right about the hair but wrong about the date. Dragonforce put out this single way back in 2007! That's right. From this video I dare you tell me someone didn't just kidnap some garage band from 1984, put them in a time machine, bought some clothes from J. Crew, and took them back to 1984 where they then filmed this video and stored the tape in a time capsule not to be opened until there was a guitar based video game out there that was just as cool as they were. Check it out.
Classic. I know you are asking yourself, "Self, I wonder what Dragonforce's influences are." Well according to an interview by lead guitarist Herman Li:
Did you catch that? Hard rock, sure. Cock hard...um...okay... Death Metal, okay. Trash, Speed; ya think? EARLY 90'S VIDEO GAMES! Not enough bands have been influenced by video games and it is a shame think of all the wonderful songs the world has been missing because of the lack of video game pop/rock out there. For his next album Justin Timberlake better do remixes of the themes to the Legend of Zelda, Sonic the Hedgehog, Super Mario Brothers, and the song that plays during the training cut scenes in Mike Tyson's Punch-Out. If only the Beatles were around when Donkey Kong came out maybe there wouldn't have been a rift between John and Paul.
Speaking of Donkey Kong, if you haven't seen King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters, you have to go out and rent it tonight. It is full of real winners like these guys:
My favorite is the guy in the food fight shirt.
I especially like how proud the kid is at the end. The song that this 9 year old is playing is called "Through the Fire and Flames" by Dragonforce. When I first heard it I thought that it must be from some hair metal band from the 1980s. The thrashing guitars, the lyrics that remind me of movies like The Neverending Story, Legend, or Willow. Well I was right about the hair but wrong about the date. Dragonforce put out this single way back in 2007! That's right. From this video I dare you tell me someone didn't just kidnap some garage band from 1984, put them in a time machine, bought some clothes from J. Crew, and took them back to 1984 where they then filmed this video and stored the tape in a time capsule not to be opened until there was a guitar based video game out there that was just as cool as they were. Check it out.
Classic. I know you are asking yourself, "Self, I wonder what Dragonforce's influences are." Well according to an interview by lead guitarist Herman Li:
The band influence is wide across the Metal spectrum. Everything we listen to can influence us in a way, Hard Rock, cock hard, Death Metal, Thrash, Speed, shred, guitar instrumental stuff, progressive and definitely late 80’s, early 90’s video games music.
Did you catch that? Hard rock, sure. Cock hard...um...okay... Death Metal, okay. Trash, Speed; ya think? EARLY 90'S VIDEO GAMES! Not enough bands have been influenced by video games and it is a shame think of all the wonderful songs the world has been missing because of the lack of video game pop/rock out there. For his next album Justin Timberlake better do remixes of the themes to the Legend of Zelda, Sonic the Hedgehog, Super Mario Brothers, and the song that plays during the training cut scenes in Mike Tyson's Punch-Out. If only the Beatles were around when Donkey Kong came out maybe there wouldn't have been a rift between John and Paul.
Speaking of Donkey Kong, if you haven't seen King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters, you have to go out and rent it tonight. It is full of real winners like these guys:
My favorite is the guy in the food fight shirt.
Friday, May 9, 2008
This Kwame Thing Has Legs
Everyone's favorite mayor has made the big time. Earlier this week on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, after speaking briefly about Ohio Attorney General Mark Dan, Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick's texting scandal was analyzed by Stewart and the R. Kelly Impersonator. All I want to know is what is wrong with loving chili?
Cool, I embedded my first video.
Cool, I embedded my first video.
STACHOWIAK DEAL WITH NIKE OFFICIAL
North Liberty(AP) – In a press conference at the University of Iowa this morning Roush-Stachowiak team member Jim Stachowiak confirmed rumors that he would be ending his ten year sponsorship run with Tour Select and inking a new deal with Nike. In an unprecedented move, this sponsorship deal includes a clause requiring Stachowiak to use Nike irons at the NFL DDC at Cog Hill next week.
With only eight days to go before the DDC, this is an unprecedented move. When asked why this move was being made now as opposed to after the DDC, Stachowiak accused Tour Select of conspiring to defeat he and Roush.
“Tour Select has been in the back pocket of Nolan and Ostrander for a few years now, why else do you think we lost the last two years” said Stachowiak. “This year it just got worse, over the last two weeks, two of those clubs snapped on me. It was time to get onboard with a company that is totally behind Mike and myself.”
The only other example of such a drastic equipment change on record came when Phil Mickelson changed clubs prior to the 2004 Ryder Cup. Roush and Stachowiak certainly hope for better results than Mickelson had.
“I’ll get one round in before the Pro Am” Stachowiak said to assure fans that he wouldn’t be hitting the new clubs for the first time come Saturday.
At Nike headquarters in Beaverton, Oregon today’s announcement coincided with renaming a building on Nike’s campus after Roush and Stachowiak. Nike CEO Phil Knight released a statement saying that Nike is glad to have Mr. Stachowiak onboard. It only seems natural with our history of great athletes like Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods that we would strike a deal with the DDC’s premier team.
In a lesser publicized DDC press conference in South Bend, Indiana this afternoon, Notre Dame coach Charlie Weis pledged his support for Nolan and Ostrander.
“Mike and Jim will come in with all kinds of excuses. To hell with Roush and Stachowiak, I’ve got Nolan and Ostrander.” When asked to elaborate, all he said was “see you at Ditka’s”.
With only eight days to go before the DDC, this is an unprecedented move. When asked why this move was being made now as opposed to after the DDC, Stachowiak accused Tour Select of conspiring to defeat he and Roush.
“Tour Select has been in the back pocket of Nolan and Ostrander for a few years now, why else do you think we lost the last two years” said Stachowiak. “This year it just got worse, over the last two weeks, two of those clubs snapped on me. It was time to get onboard with a company that is totally behind Mike and myself.”
The only other example of such a drastic equipment change on record came when Phil Mickelson changed clubs prior to the 2004 Ryder Cup. Roush and Stachowiak certainly hope for better results than Mickelson had.
“I’ll get one round in before the Pro Am” Stachowiak said to assure fans that he wouldn’t be hitting the new clubs for the first time come Saturday.
At Nike headquarters in Beaverton, Oregon today’s announcement coincided with renaming a building on Nike’s campus after Roush and Stachowiak. Nike CEO Phil Knight released a statement saying that Nike is glad to have Mr. Stachowiak onboard. It only seems natural with our history of great athletes like Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods that we would strike a deal with the DDC’s premier team.
In a lesser publicized DDC press conference in South Bend, Indiana this afternoon, Notre Dame coach Charlie Weis pledged his support for Nolan and Ostrander.
“Mike and Jim will come in with all kinds of excuses. To hell with Roush and Stachowiak, I’ve got Nolan and Ostrander.” When asked to elaborate, all he said was “see you at Ditka’s”.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
DDC Updates
Both stories earlier posted have been pulled due to bad taste.
Let it be known, however, bad people have endorsed both teams.
Let it be known, however, bad people have endorsed both teams.
Monday, May 5, 2008
Oprah Gets in on DDC Fun
Chicago (AP): Chicago is already a buzz with excitement over this month’s NFLDDC, but golf’s biggest event just got a little bigger. In a news conference this morning, Chicago’s second most famous citizen Oprah Winfrey announced that she will be relocating her popular afternoon talk show to Cog Hill for the week of May 12th – May 16th. “It is not everyday that Chicago gets to hold a world class event such as the DDC, I would be cheating my viewers if I were not a part of it” said Oprah. The back drop for the show will be Cog Hill’s clubhouse. The tentative schedule is as follows: Monday – Matt Nolan and Michael Ostrander, Tuesday: Mike Roush and Jim Stachowiak, Wednesday: The Wives Perspective, Thursday: The Greatest Trophy in Golf: The Birdie, Friday: Celebrity Predictions and a Live Feed from the DDC Pro-Am.
The Family Vote is In
Chicago (AP)--As excitement for the NFL DDC grows and grows, people have been eagerly anticipating how the families of the DDC members are handling the increased attention. All the spouses and significant others have pledged support for their men in the past but it seems that lately this support as eroded in the past few days, at least in the case of Matt Nolan and Michael Ostrander. Shannon Wade was recently spotted at a local Panera where witnesses overheard her telling an unknown companion, “I don’t give a rip if Butts wins the Birdie or not. I just want him to stop all this foolishness and focus on the wedding.” Shannon and Ostrander and scheduled to be married in June, one month after the DDC.
“If I am honest with myself, I really hope Roush and Stachowiak just wax the floor at the DDC so Butts and I will have something to talk about on our honeymoon besides the damn golf tournament.” Wade went on to say.
Nina Tito was at the Borders on Michigan Avenue in downtown Chicago waiting in line for Mike Roush’s autograph at a book signing he was doing for his latest release entitled Life in General: How to Live and Thrive the Roush Way. When approached by reporters Tito said “I have been a life long fan of Mike Roush and am so excited to finally meet him in person. Sure, I hang out with Nolan from time to time, but come DDC time, I will be wearing a Mike Roush jersey and a Jim Stachowiak bald cap.”
While there may be dissention in the ranks on Team Nolan/Ostrander, Roush and Stachowiak are fully supported by their wives. Both Mrs. Roush and Stachowiak were seen at various fundraising events across the Midwest raising money for their husband’s golfing endeavor.
“Colleen and I could not be more proud of our husbands.” Roush said. “They have been in lock step with every decision we have made so it is only fair that we fully support them in whatever they do.” Roush was later seen receiving a large duffel bag full of money. It is not known at this time if the money was for the trip to Ditka’s or as compensation for her comments.
“Jim has been the best husband I could ever ask for, so I am being the best wife he could ever ask for by not only putting up with this DDC business, but fully supporting him in it.” Stachowiak said.
With their wives and the significant others of the other DDC members on their side, Roush and Stachowiak picked up surprise endorsements from each and every family member of both Matt Nolan and Michael Ostrander. Michael Ostrander’s high school students also lined up behind Roush and Stachowiak, holding a pep rally in their honor after classes ended last Friday.
UPDATE: All of the votes from the families of Roush and Stachowiak are in, and they are 100% for team Roush/Stachowiak.
“If I am honest with myself, I really hope Roush and Stachowiak just wax the floor at the DDC so Butts and I will have something to talk about on our honeymoon besides the damn golf tournament.” Wade went on to say.
Nina Tito was at the Borders on Michigan Avenue in downtown Chicago waiting in line for Mike Roush’s autograph at a book signing he was doing for his latest release entitled Life in General: How to Live and Thrive the Roush Way. When approached by reporters Tito said “I have been a life long fan of Mike Roush and am so excited to finally meet him in person. Sure, I hang out with Nolan from time to time, but come DDC time, I will be wearing a Mike Roush jersey and a Jim Stachowiak bald cap.”
While there may be dissention in the ranks on Team Nolan/Ostrander, Roush and Stachowiak are fully supported by their wives. Both Mrs. Roush and Stachowiak were seen at various fundraising events across the Midwest raising money for their husband’s golfing endeavor.
“Colleen and I could not be more proud of our husbands.” Roush said. “They have been in lock step with every decision we have made so it is only fair that we fully support them in whatever they do.” Roush was later seen receiving a large duffel bag full of money. It is not known at this time if the money was for the trip to Ditka’s or as compensation for her comments.
“Jim has been the best husband I could ever ask for, so I am being the best wife he could ever ask for by not only putting up with this DDC business, but fully supporting him in it.” Stachowiak said.
With their wives and the significant others of the other DDC members on their side, Roush and Stachowiak picked up surprise endorsements from each and every family member of both Matt Nolan and Michael Ostrander. Michael Ostrander’s high school students also lined up behind Roush and Stachowiak, holding a pep rally in their honor after classes ended last Friday.
UPDATE: All of the votes from the families of Roush and Stachowiak are in, and they are 100% for team Roush/Stachowiak.
Friday, May 2, 2008
MCCAIN TO MAKE APPEARANCE ROUSH/STACHOWIAK RALLY
Chicago (AP): With less than a month to go before the NFLDDC at Cog Hill, not much has been heard out of the Roush/Stachowiak camp. Many DDC followers speculate they are keeping a low profile due to their strict practice routine with Tiger Woods. However, details are starting to leak out about a concert/rally for Roush/Stachowiak fans that will rival Woodstock in popularity and historical significance. This rally, called “Bring Back the Birdie 2008”, will be an all day event held on Thursday May 17th at Millennium Park in Chicago in the shadows of Nolan’s office. “We want Nolan and Ostrander to know Mike and Jim are coming for them and they have an army of support twice the size of Arnie’s” said Bring Back the Birdie 2008 organizer Tony Snow, “That’s why were holding this at Millennium Park, we want Nolan to see first hand the gallery that he is going to be up against.” The roster of bands playing this concert has not been finalized, but The Rolling Stones, Aerosmith, Poison, Eminem, Neil Diamond, the Good Piano Guy from Pluggers, Miley Cyrus, the Killers, Tom Petty, Run DMC, Brooks and Dunn, Vanilla Ice, Chuck Berry, Bob Seger, Toby Keith, and Bon Jovi have all pledged their support for Roush and Stachowiak and will participate in this concert. “Bands from Drum Corp International have expressed interest, but no fan of Mike and Jim is interested in that crap” said Snow. Also expected at this rally is the release of Chicago legend Wesley Willis’ “The Birdie is the Greatest Trophy in the History of the World”. As if all of that weren’t enough a spokesman for Sen. John McCain said earlier today that since it’s inception, Sen. McCain has always been a fan of the DDC and Roush and Stachowiak and that he wouldn’t miss the chance to make an appearance at their rally. Sen. McCain runs his campaign on the same principles Roush and Stachowiak play the DDC, truth, justice, kicking ass, and the American way.
Follow up:
Sen. McCain’s office has released a statement saying that this press release was in draft form (his staffer had a meeting mid draft) when the other story with quotes from Iowa was released this morning. “This morning’s Iowa comments were misconstrued. Never did I endorse Nolan and Ostrander, I’ll leave that to people like Kwame Kilpatrick. Also, I certainly don’t endorse anything Ostrander says when drunk. I am 100% behind Roush and Stachowiak in the DDC” said Sen. McCain. More on this story as it develops.
GOD ENDORSES NOLAN/OSTRANDER
Chicago (AP): At a 1:23pm (CST) press conference this afternoon, held at heaven (Wrigley Field), God endorsed Nolan and Ostrander to win the 2008 Chicago NFL-DDC at Cog Hill. Despite the fact that God can pretty much make whomever he wants to win, organizers confirmed plans to actually contest the event, citing a desire to keep the fans and the media happy.
Follow up:
Sen. McCain’s office has released a statement saying that this press release was in draft form (his staffer had a meeting mid draft) when the other story with quotes from Iowa was released this morning. “This morning’s Iowa comments were misconstrued. Never did I endorse Nolan and Ostrander, I’ll leave that to people like Kwame Kilpatrick. Also, I certainly don’t endorse anything Ostrander says when drunk. I am 100% behind Roush and Stachowiak in the DDC” said Sen. McCain. More on this story as it develops.
GOD ENDORSES NOLAN/OSTRANDER
Chicago (AP): At a 1:23pm (CST) press conference this afternoon, held at heaven (Wrigley Field), God endorsed Nolan and Ostrander to win the 2008 Chicago NFL-DDC at Cog Hill. Despite the fact that God can pretty much make whomever he wants to win, organizers confirmed plans to actually contest the event, citing a desire to keep the fans and the media happy.
President Bush in St. Louis Today; Backs Roush/Stachowiak
President Bush, along with Missouri Senator Kit Bond and Representative Todd Akin, spoke this morning at World Wide Technologies in St. Louis, Missouri in what was supposed to be a speech about the economy. While the President did talk briefly about his economic stimulus package, the bulk of the speech was devoted to the NFL DDC.
"America needs for Roush and Stack...Stow...Stachovich to win the DDC. These great champions have been on the losing side too long. It is no coincidence that the economy has been more sluggish than when they were DDC champions. The sale of DDC t-shirts, videos, and other memorabilia sky rocket when Roush and um...Jim, win the tournament." Bush said.
Roush, fresh off a devastating go at a Partnership Tax exam, spoke briefly and the content of their conversation is secret but sources have said that the President offered Roush the use of Air Force One for any DDC related travel. Roush is unlikely to need the presidential airplane because of his access to the famous Roush fleet of jets.
NOLAN/OSTRANDER RECEIVE ENDORSEMENT FROM THE STRAIGHT TALK EXPRESS
Des Moines, IA (AP): At his morning press conference during a stop in Des Moines, Iowa, John McCain endorsed Nolan and Ostrander for the 2008 NFL-DDC. Looking to boost his Iowa numbers, he thought about backing Zach Johnson, but decided upon the more recent heroes in Iowa. "Nolan and Ostrander know what it's like to talk straight, especially after a couple of drinks," said Senator McCain. "I can't wait for the Friday "get the other team more drunk than your team" event.
"America needs for Roush and Stack...Stow...Stachovich to win the DDC. These great champions have been on the losing side too long. It is no coincidence that the economy has been more sluggish than when they were DDC champions. The sale of DDC t-shirts, videos, and other memorabilia sky rocket when Roush and um...Jim, win the tournament." Bush said.
Roush, fresh off a devastating go at a Partnership Tax exam, spoke briefly and the content of their conversation is secret but sources have said that the President offered Roush the use of Air Force One for any DDC related travel. Roush is unlikely to need the presidential airplane because of his access to the famous Roush fleet of jets.
NOLAN/OSTRANDER RECEIVE ENDORSEMENT FROM THE STRAIGHT TALK EXPRESS
Des Moines, IA (AP): At his morning press conference during a stop in Des Moines, Iowa, John McCain endorsed Nolan and Ostrander for the 2008 NFL-DDC. Looking to boost his Iowa numbers, he thought about backing Zach Johnson, but decided upon the more recent heroes in Iowa. "Nolan and Ostrander know what it's like to talk straight, especially after a couple of drinks," said Senator McCain. "I can't wait for the Friday "get the other team more drunk than your team" event.
TEE TIME SET FOR 2008 CHICAGO NFL-DDC PRO-AM AT MAROVITZ
Chicago (Reuters): According to two-time defending NFL-DDC champion Matt Nolan, the tee time for the 2008 Chicago NFL-DDC Pro-Am at Marovitz has been set. "To allow ample time for travel and settling in, but not to waste away the evening, the tee time for the Pro-Am has been set for 4:28pm" said Nolan. "Golfers will find this 9-hole course a good tune-up for Cog Hill, and will also enjoy majestic views of Lake Michigan, much like Pebble Beach, only about $479.50 less per round." While the participants will have to walk with their clubs from their lodging to the course, Nolan doesn't see this as a problem. "Other than Ostrander and I, all of the participants are wildly out of shape, and the walk will probably do them some good." Attendees are encouraged to arrive early to find parking, as the Cubs play the Pirates at Wrigley Field at 1:20pm that afternoon.
Chicago continues to grow in excitement for its trial run for the 2016 Olympics. This Saturday evening, Kirkland & Ellis is hosting a formal dinner and casino night, as a trial run for the 2008 Chicago NFL-DDC at Cog Hill post-tournament banquet at Mike Ditka's. Word has it that Nina Tito, an NFL-DDC virgin, is also beginning to explore options for the participants' ladies to partake of during this year's rumble. Women are encouraged to contact each other to sort out the details.
The NFL-DDC came to the political world early this morning, when another Hillary Clinton superdelegate defected, but this time to "Nolan/Ostrander, 3 and 2" instead of to rival Barack Obama. "I've seen Obama shoot hoops and bowl," said the superdelegate, who asked to remain nameless as he is going through an investigation and probable trial for his use of high-priced call girls while governor of New York. "There's no way I can endorse him to beat Stachowiak/Roush, but I can definitely go with Nolan/Ostrander. Those guys know how to stroke it." Nolan and Ostrander also picked up endorsements from Pope Benedict XVI, Fielding Yost's ghost, all of the women who have had affairs with Roger Clemens, Wolf from American Gladiators, Hornswaggle, and Billy Ray Cyrus, who added, "Nolan and Ostrander are just going to be Miley, 7 and 5."
Roush and Stachowiak received endorsements from Mark D'Antonio, Satan, Osama Bin Laden, Hellga from American Gladiators, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Bill Richardson, Raul Castro and Vlad the Impaler's ghost.
Chicago continues to grow in excitement for its trial run for the 2016 Olympics. This Saturday evening, Kirkland & Ellis is hosting a formal dinner and casino night, as a trial run for the 2008 Chicago NFL-DDC at Cog Hill post-tournament banquet at Mike Ditka's. Word has it that Nina Tito, an NFL-DDC virgin, is also beginning to explore options for the participants' ladies to partake of during this year's rumble. Women are encouraged to contact each other to sort out the details.
The NFL-DDC came to the political world early this morning, when another Hillary Clinton superdelegate defected, but this time to "Nolan/Ostrander, 3 and 2" instead of to rival Barack Obama. "I've seen Obama shoot hoops and bowl," said the superdelegate, who asked to remain nameless as he is going through an investigation and probable trial for his use of high-priced call girls while governor of New York. "There's no way I can endorse him to beat Stachowiak/Roush, but I can definitely go with Nolan/Ostrander. Those guys know how to stroke it." Nolan and Ostrander also picked up endorsements from Pope Benedict XVI, Fielding Yost's ghost, all of the women who have had affairs with Roger Clemens, Wolf from American Gladiators, Hornswaggle, and Billy Ray Cyrus, who added, "Nolan and Ostrander are just going to be Miley, 7 and 5."
Roush and Stachowiak received endorsements from Mark D'Antonio, Satan, Osama Bin Laden, Hellga from American Gladiators, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Bill Richardson, Raul Castro and Vlad the Impaler's ghost.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Mad Props to the Wife
My wife is great and as such she needs a great nickname to be used on this blog. I traditionally do not use nicknames as I prefer to call everyone by their given name or "jerk." Since my wife does not qualify as a "jerk" (far from it) and I don't want to use her given name online (even though everyone that reads this probably knows her) I need to come up with an alias. I was reading David Feherty's blog and he calls his wife "She Who Must Be Obeyed." I liked that one a lot but I am not going to straight up steal another man's wife's online nickname plus I don't want to give the impression that my wife is some evil force that calls forth all the demons in hell just because I forgot to but the seat down (or up in some cases). So world, come up with a good name and you win an official Bubba Tunes congratulations.
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