Chicago (Reuters): According to two-time defending NFL-DDC champion Matt Nolan, the tee time for the 2008 Chicago NFL-DDC Pro-Am at Marovitz has been set. "To allow ample time for travel and settling in, but not to waste away the evening, the tee time for the Pro-Am has been set for 4:28pm" said Nolan. "Golfers will find this 9-hole course a good tune-up for Cog Hill, and will also enjoy majestic views of Lake Michigan, much like Pebble Beach, only about $479.50 less per round." While the participants will have to walk with their clubs from their lodging to the course, Nolan doesn't see this as a problem. "Other than Ostrander and I, all of the participants are wildly out of shape, and the walk will probably do them some good." Attendees are encouraged to arrive early to find parking, as the Cubs play the Pirates at Wrigley Field at 1:20pm that afternoon.
Chicago continues to grow in excitement for its trial run for the 2016 Olympics. This Saturday evening, Kirkland & Ellis is hosting a formal dinner and casino night, as a trial run for the 2008 Chicago NFL-DDC at Cog Hill post-tournament banquet at Mike Ditka's. Word has it that Nina Tito, an NFL-DDC virgin, is also beginning to explore options for the participants' ladies to partake of during this year's rumble. Women are encouraged to contact each other to sort out the details.
The NFL-DDC came to the political world early this morning, when another Hillary Clinton superdelegate defected, but this time to "Nolan/Ostrander, 3 and 2" instead of to rival Barack Obama. "I've seen Obama shoot hoops and bowl," said the superdelegate, who asked to remain nameless as he is going through an investigation and probable trial for his use of high-priced call girls while governor of New York. "There's no way I can endorse him to beat Stachowiak/Roush, but I can definitely go with Nolan/Ostrander. Those guys know how to stroke it." Nolan and Ostrander also picked up endorsements from Pope Benedict XVI, Fielding Yost's ghost, all of the women who have had affairs with Roger Clemens, Wolf from American Gladiators, Hornswaggle, and Billy Ray Cyrus, who added, "Nolan and Ostrander are just going to be Miley, 7 and 5."
Roush and Stachowiak received endorsements from Mark D'Antonio, Satan, Osama Bin Laden, Hellga from American Gladiators, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Bill Richardson, Raul Castro and Vlad the Impaler's ghost.
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