Talk About Sausagefest

Okay since I last posted the follow events have taken place:
1. The Olympics started in China with an opening ceremony that news agencies report was anything ranging from "glorious" to "God-like." After people found out computer generated fireworks were used and an cute girl pulled a Milli Vanili these same news agencies downgraded the opening ceremony to "amazingly awesome" and "totally better than anything the West could ever dream possible...capitalist swine."
2. Bernie Mac died from complications associated with pneumonia.
3. Russia invaded and bombed the shit out of Georgia. People all over Atlanta started building fire breaks and sighing "not again" before they realized it was Georgia the country, not Georgia the state.
4. Michael Phelps won the gold 8 times. When asked about his record setting performance, Phelps said, "Okay, I guess it is cool but have you seen how much weight Terrance Taylor lost? Freaking amazing man. Watch out for those Wolverines. Watch the hell out."
5. A bunch of other stuff I don't remember or don't feel like writing about.

What I really wanted to bring your attention to is this. If you are like me and just will not click on hyperlinks in suspect blogs, here's the skinny: The mayor of Mount Isa, a mining town in Northwest Australia, is under fire because he said ugly women should move to the town and find a mate. Mount Isa has a population of 25,000 and the male to female ratio is five to one and the mayor hoped inviting Australian female Quasimodos would help balance things out. Mayor John Maloney said that Mount Isa was a place for"ugly ducklings to flourish into beautiful swans" and that the "beauty disadvantaged" would be a welcome addition to the town. After his comments were published in a newspaper people got pissed and yelled at him.

I don't see a problem with sending all of the ugly people of the world to Australia. The country started as a penal colony and can now be used as a ugly bastard colony. This would greatly improve the quality of life for people like me that are incredibly good looking (a.k.a. Zoolanderesque). I say send the people who fell off the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down to Australia and let me go to the mall and not have to see them waiting in line at Auntie Anne's or buying clothes that are just too stylish for their ugly faces at H & M. Think of all the health care dollars wasted on ugly people. (We all know beautiful people don't need the hospital, they just look in a mirror and are cured.) If we didn't have to spend our tax dollars on the sick people we could spend them on hair care products and screen print t-shirts that accentuate my perfect triceps.

I know a lot of you ugly people are getting offended right now but come on, you're ugly so why the hell should I care? For the non-ugly readers out there, if you have any other groups of people you would like to send to Australia post a comment.