DDC Officials Not Concerned About Swine Flu Fears

Cuidad de Mexico (AP) -- While the deadly outbreak of the swine flu has spread over the Mexico border into the United States, officials are not concerned about its possible affect on the usually high turn out at the NFL DDC.

"We have been getting updates on the situation every hour for the last few days and unless something changes, we are going forward as planned." said Michael Roush, the host of this year's DDC event.

There have been no reported cases of the swine flu in St. Louis, where this year's DDC will take place, but people have been infected by the virus in neighboring Kansas.

"We are aware of the situation in Kansas but the CDC has told us there is no reason to think it will spread to St. Louis given the increased precautions all federal agencies are taking in preparation of the DDC." reported DDC legend Michael Ostrander.

Resources from federal, state, and local agencies have been preparing for over two years for the 2009 DDC and agents from the CDC, FEMA, FBI, ATF, CIA, OMB, NIOSH, OSHA, NLRB, CTU, NSA, NASA, EPA, and the Boy Scouts of America have created a vitrual fortress in St. Louis and are reported to be ready for any possible attack, natural disaster, civil unrest, or epidemic that has any real or perceived possibility of happening before or during the world famous golf event.

"Of course any event as large and important as the DDC will be targeted and we have received threats from your typical nutjobs but I haven't lost one bit of sleep over the safety of the our fans or anyone else." said Matt Nolan. "My only real concern is slicing my drives into the woods."

Jim Stachowiak continued the upbeat message, "Swine flu, avian flu, equestrian flu, bovine flu, who gives a [excrement]? I am going after the Birdie come hell or high water."