WASHINGTON, D.C. (AP) – Justice David Souter has announced that he will retire from the Supreme Court. Asked why he has decided to retire, Souter said, “Well I have spent enough time on the bench doing this and that but it is time for me to do something really important, heading the NFL DDC rules committee.”
“While I respect Souter’s choice to retire, the position of head rules official is not just his to take,” stated long time DDC member and rule breaker Matt Nolan, “He will have to go through the same application and vetting process as everyone else.”
Souter, appointed by George H. W. Bush, but leaned moderate to liberal in his decisions said he will do whatever it takes to be an official part of the DDC.
“Look, I’ll do anything to get the position. You want more guns? Great, have more guns. You want more civil liberties and personal freedom from the government? I will write a judicial order granting whatever the hell you want, just give me the damn job.”
Stay tuned for further developments on this breaking story.
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