NFL DDC Member Injured in Tragic Lunch Accident

ST. LOUIS (AP)--Long time NFL DDC hero, Michael Roush, was injured today when he slipped on stairs on the campus of St. Louis University. His status for the DDC has been listed as "probable" for the past four years but after the fall Roush's status was downgraded to "day-to-day." It had been raining sleet and ice all day in St. Louis and the staricase had become very slippery by the time of the accident. Several witnesses started laughing at Roush because he looked like an elephant with ice skates on but once they learned who they were silenced out of fear the DDC would have to go on without one if its most storied players.
"At first I laughed and pointed because it looked really painful and I like laughing at people who hurt themselves," said a random d-bag who witnessed the fall, "but once I saw who it was I just froze. It wasn't until he got to his feet and said 'And he's okay" like Wayne from 'Wayne's World' did I feel better."
Apparently Roush was not the first to suffer the wrath of the Busch Student Center staircase that morning.
"Just a couple of minutes before Mike fell, I saw a really moron also fall down the stairs. It was hilarious." D-bag #2 said. "It was only a matter of time before someone else fell too but I didn't want to stop drinking my latte to warn anyone that people were falling down the stairs."
When reached for comment about the injury Roush's representatives would only confirm the fall occured but would not comment about the severity of the injury.
"At this time, we are unclear about the full extent of his injuries. He was able to walk the rest of the way to eat his ceasar salad for lunch but we are not sure if his golf swing will be okay." said Floyd Thames, Roush's long-time trainer.
"All we can do is hope and pray. Although I am sure that if he is able to recover and win the DDC this year, it will be the most remarkable sporting event in the history of remarkable sporting events."